When you get an intrusive thought and intentionally try to ignore it and act as if it doesn't exist, you only validate it's existence. This is a common issue when learning how to deal with them
This makes me a bit confused though. Because how do I know if I'm doing ERP correctly? If I think too much I'm ruminating. If I don't think about it enough I'm ignoring it. What is the correct amount of thinking? Should I set a timer? OCD is making me worry I'm not doing OCD correctly
So the point I was trying to make is when people try to stop the thought directly it becomes a compulsion. Accepting it's existence is the first step to letting it sort itself out. People often try and skip this because it can be distressing
@Wolfram So accept the thought and then after a while, try and move on to something else? Don't just sit there telling yourself "ACCEPT IT ACCEPT IT ACCEPT IT" ?
@julianofnorwich Correct. If you just sit there and try and accept it, that is a form of Erp but you need to do it with a goal in mind. Not accepting the content of the thought, but that it is a thought. I used to be aggressive with this and ask the thoughts to bring it and to give me more and this isn't enough for me etc. I belittled them, then they lost value.
@julianofnorwich Life demands balance. This applies to everything that we do in every area of life. OCD tips the scales of balance, rendering our thinking unhealthy. Our thinking ability becomes a slave to anxiety. If we think too much, we drown in anxiety. If we ignore our thoughts, we can become complacent. The goal is to strike a balance in our thinking so that we can accept a thought without it causing inappropriate anxiety, but at the same time preserve our moral integrity. The reality is, OCD is an illness. It is easier said that done to be able to accept a thought without it causing excessive anxiety. However, our minds have amazing capacity. We can train our brains soasmuch that a thought that we render inappropriate will no longer be perceived as a threat in which we need to fight obsessively. We can train our brains to acknowledge a thought’s presence without it causing us to act rashly because of anxiety, or become complacent because of bitterness and fatigue. The key is to acknowledge a thought’s presence, allow the anxiety that follows to be present, and to simply move on, understanding that a thought is just a thought. It does not define our moral standing or us as a person. Persons of integrity have wrong thoughts all the time, but are able to dismiss them and maintain control over their actions. Training takes time, but the results depend on our endurance and resilience. OCD demands that we cultivate courage. It’s hard to live with this disorder. It can make navigating life feel impossible. But we cannot always trust our feelings. Conquering it can be done, but the results all depend on you.
@Sway_04 Thank you for this :)
@Wolfram Thank you for this :)
The trick is to accept uncertainty, while staying in the present.
How do I stop letting my intrusive thoughts control me? Ive been having them for almost a year, once I graduated, become more isolated and lost more friends they've become worse. I feel like when I had friends and was still going to school they weren't as bad probably because I was living more so I didn't take them as seriously. But now that Im home all day and alone they've gotten worse and it feels like they're starting to control my life. Theres times where Im on social media and eventually I forget about them but then when I realize I forgot about them they come back. Sometimes the thought just lingers it doesn't even just pop in my head and go away. I can't tell anyone in my family because they'd judge me for the thoughts and they don't really believe in mental illnesses. I also sometimes think of what other people may think of me if they knew the thoughts I had and it makes it worse. How do I stop letting these thoughts control/trigger me and stop reacting or feeling some type of way about them.
I don’t know how to explain this so I’ll do it to the best of my ability. Does anyone experience “co-intrusive” thoughts that try to negatively support the initial intrusive thought? Example: Me: “Thank God I never acted on (scary intrusive thought) & I’m getting better!” Intrusive thought: “What a shame you didn’t” These types of things send me into a spiral. It makes me think that it could lead to a desire instead of staying a fear. Like an intrusive disappointment that I didn’t follow through with the thought? It’s been a long fear/obsession & I think my OCD is trying to trick me that the only satisfaction would be to act on the thought. (I know that’s bs) But IS that why it sends me the negative co-intrusive thoughts? That’s the only explanation that makes sense. Then I wonder is it something else? Am I a grenade waiting to explode??? I simply cannot relax in any moment because I think what’s the use if I’m just going to (xyz) one day?
I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?
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