When you get an intrusive thought and intentionally try to ignore it and act as if it doesn't exist, you only validate it's existence. This is a common issue when learning how to deal with them
This makes me a bit confused though. Because how do I know if I'm doing ERP correctly? If I think too much I'm ruminating. If I don't think about it enough I'm ignoring it. What is the correct amount of thinking? Should I set a timer? OCD is making me worry I'm not doing OCD correctly
So the point I was trying to make is when people try to stop the thought directly it becomes a compulsion. Accepting it's existence is the first step to letting it sort itself out. People often try and skip this because it can be distressing
@Wolfram So accept the thought and then after a while, try and move on to something else? Don't just sit there telling yourself "ACCEPT IT ACCEPT IT ACCEPT IT" ?
@julianofnorwich Correct. If you just sit there and try and accept it, that is a form of Erp but you need to do it with a goal in mind. Not accepting the content of the thought, but that it is a thought. I used to be aggressive with this and ask the thoughts to bring it and to give me more and this isn't enough for me etc. I belittled them, then they lost value.
@julianofnorwich Life demands balance. This applies to everything that we do in every area of life. OCD tips the scales of balance, rendering our thinking unhealthy. Our thinking ability becomes a slave to anxiety. If we think too much, we drown in anxiety. If we ignore our thoughts, we can become complacent. The goal is to strike a balance in our thinking so that we can accept a thought without it causing inappropriate anxiety, but at the same time preserve our moral integrity. The reality is, OCD is an illness. It is easier said that done to be able to accept a thought without it causing excessive anxiety. However, our minds have amazing capacity. We can train our brains soasmuch that a thought that we render inappropriate will no longer be perceived as a threat in which we need to fight obsessively. We can train our brains to acknowledge a thought’s presence without it causing us to act rashly because of anxiety, or become complacent because of bitterness and fatigue. The key is to acknowledge a thought’s presence, allow the anxiety that follows to be present, and to simply move on, understanding that a thought is just a thought. It does not define our moral standing or us as a person. Persons of integrity have wrong thoughts all the time, but are able to dismiss them and maintain control over their actions. Training takes time, but the results depend on our endurance and resilience. OCD demands that we cultivate courage. It’s hard to live with this disorder. It can make navigating life feel impossible. But we cannot always trust our feelings. Conquering it can be done, but the results all depend on you.
@Sway_04 Thank you for this :)
@Wolfram Thank you for this :)
The trick is to accept uncertainty, while staying in the present.
for me, it's like there's two folders of my thoughts, 'main thoughts' and 'sub thoughts' and it's like a background voice of my background voice, you know? like so quiet and irrelevant but it's still here and i can try to ignore it but not fully and it feels like it's just really nasty, like it's warring with me, never shuts up and just keeps nagging me with those thoughts
Please how can an intrusive thought be distinguished from our own thoughts ?
So my therapist told me to start telling myself every time I have an intrusive thought just say oh there’s that thought again, and don’t try to figure it out or do mental compulsions. Well our usual tactic of “there’s that thought/feeling again” is not working at all this morning. This morning I was having really bad anxiety, it hits hardest in the morning when I am lying in bed with my son and I know the thoughts could come at any minute. Well they did, and I immediately was like no please just think of anything else. Well in pushing away the thoughts, I had this really weird feeling like I couldn’t decipher between reality and images. I was just getting flashes of images that felt so real. Even though I could physically feel my body and know I wasnt engaging in the thought or acting on it. It was like a flash of anxiety that hit and I couldn’t tell what was real and wasn’t. So of course my mind starts trying to figure that feeling out and if what I was thinking about just happened. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to say there’s that thought/feeling again, I can’t let it go. I was physically conscious and could feel my body but mentally I couldn’t. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I’ve been doubting and second guessing that moment all morning and I’m in a bad spiral, again. 😭 it’s like every time I think I’m moving forward I get sucked back in and feel like I can’t practice my tools anymore. I don’t know what I should do 😩
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