Just because I have feelings around a guy doesn’t mean I have feelings FOR HIM. Right? I’m just a girl… ugh. But I’m like omg I felt like I wanted to flirt or wanted attention or desire or wanted to look good. And let me say I adore my partner. Aren’t these just human things? But it freaks me out if I feel some type of way around someone else that means I have feelings for them
Even if you did have feelings for him, it would be okay.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Ugh I love my partner so much it feels so wrong if I do
@Mk3 Shit happens that we can’t control 🤷♀️ True love and partnership means choosing each other every day despite the challenges. Your love for him is obvious in how much you care about strengthening your relationship, protecting his feelings, and maintaining your loyalty to him. Those are all choices you make, and those are what matter! Not the thoughts in your brain.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Or the feelings I guess?? Why do I want to confess so bad. The guilt is terrible always
@Mk3 Yeah the feelings too! Those are all synapses firing and physical responses and things that we just don’t control. Thoughts and feelings come and go. What matters are your choices and actions that align with what you truly want for yourself and your relationship. Which is to be with your partner who you love. ❤️
@OutstandingCutieDisorder That’s so true. Thank you for the reminder. I always am trying to figure out if I think I think my partner is ugly too. I hate it. I really don’t think I do. But tonight is a good night where I can say that This stuff is too hard I don’t even know what’s real. What I think or feel.
@Mk3 I’m sorry that seems really hard. That’s definitely an ocd obsession — ocd loves to make us try to figure out our own opinions to no end. I also think that it would be fine if you did think that (you probably don’t but still). Looks aren’t everything, beauty is subjective; It doesn’t have to matter!
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Thank you. I’m just trying to learn how to deal. I guess just sit in the discomfort? It’s like sometimes this crap feels so true and other times I try to figure it out I’m lost at this point. And the crazy part is OCD can also make it feel so real. So it’s a never ending battle
@Mk3 I know :( it sucks so bad. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Yeah, ERP, meds, and practicing tolerating discomfort are pretty much the best things you can do. It really is possible to get better but it’s also really hard and takes a long time.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Gosh Google is not helpful. Now I’m worried I’m emotionally cheating on my partner etc. I also do this thing where I’m paranoid I’ve flirted with others before and stuff. It never ends does it!
@Mk3 It’s the worst when researching backfires and tells you exactly what you don’t want to hear!!! As hard as it is your gotta sit with it and resist those compulsions. Sometimes it helps me to remind myself that the anxiety after the compulsion is usually worse than if you don’t do it at all.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder So true. Emotional cheating is so scary. But I doubt that’s what happening here obviously
@OutstandingCutieDisorder I guess OCD is playing into all of this making it seem super important that I have thoughts and feelings…. When in reality it’s just not
@Mk3 Yep exactly. Everything seems like it has meaning and importance with ocd when it doesn’t.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Yes. The crazy part is all this worry and stuff. This could all just be ocd. Does that make sense ?! Like I could just have the feelings and think nothing of them. But instead I freak out over what that means
@Mk3 Yep. I’m sure there are tons of people in the world right now who have feelings like this and just move on.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Yes and with my thoughts. When I’m not in my OCD brain (rare) I can see more clearly it’s not a concern!
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Yeah instead I’m like I feel a b c d e f this must mean this. When a lot of people wouldn’t think about them again I’m sure because they love their partner. But I worry worry worry. And please correct me if I’m thinking wrong:)
@Mk3 Yeah I think that’s true!
Or is it just like if I have all these feelings I should worry. Idk confusing. But if I know I want to be with my partner, what’s there to worry about? Feelings happen you can’t control it. That’s why I think most people wouldn’t even think about it again hence it’s my ocd making it important
@Mk3 I think ocd is making you try to figure this out endlessly. The best thing to do (although it sucks) is to just accept that you can’t know the answer to all of these questions for sure. But you do know that you want to be with your partner, and that’s what you should do.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Urg. You’re right!
@OutstandingCutieDisorder I think I should just sit in the discomfort like you said. Knowing that it’s a strong likelihood all this crap is ocd
@Mk3 I agree!
I’m in a really low place with my ROCD. I feel like I have feelings for someone else & like someone else because of the feelings I have around/about/for this other person I guess. I’m only around this other person when in group settings with friends. I dont want this. I feel nauseous, guilty, all the things as I love my partner so much. I know I struggle with ROCD terribly and I need advice from someone who’s been in my shoes. Is this common in ROCD? Idek
Should I feel guilty about being friends with someone I used to hangout with before my partner? This guy hangs out with my friends so it’s hard to avoid him. And then feelings happen and I’m learning that my feelings don’t have to hold significance. Should I feel guilty I’m like why do I still like to be around guys Maybe this is just life. I’m going to see these people. Idk
I adore my partner. There’s this other guy my ocd has been triggered by from the start. He hangs out with my friends, we used to hangout before my partner. I feel like I’m so wrong for still hanging around him in social settings. Its just fun sometimes. I have fleeting feelings and there’s kind of a flirtatious vibe? I’m scared I’ve flirted. I’m scared of the “feelings” I get even though I know feelings can have zero significance when I love my partner so much. I overanalyze everything. The guilt is overwhelming. I want to be with my partner not this other guy. I feel like a terrible partner. I know this could all be OCD why does it feel so hard. I think my brain has so much worked up over this other person no wonder I feel so much guilt. My OCD makes everything into a big deal.
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