Any Advice on How to Talk to Loved Ones About OCD?

I have been in ERP therapy for my OCD for nearly a year now. Before my diagnosis and doing ERP, I really didn't drive a car for five years and rarely left the house. Now I drive to work, coffee and other outings. Most of the people close in my life don’t really know about my OCD. They do see me doing lots of things I haven't done in the past. I don't really know if I should explain about why this progress happened. I hope they don't think I was just being lazy up until then. They will talk about how someone is “so OCD” because they keep their room clean and really enjoy things neat. Anytime I hear this, I just think that if they hear about my diagnosis of OCD and what it entails they will think I’m crazy. I feel very conflicted about how to go about this, so advice is welcome.

Mr OCD Pro

Date posted: Yesterday

Everyone needs to be more educated about OCD. It’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of. If you trust your loved ones enough you should be able to talk about it freely. You can’t control people’s reactions so I suggest only talk about it with people you trust. It will take time for everyone to understand….some day.

Christiansg2_3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello, You're not alone in this. I want to say, I'm a bit concerned that "what if they think I'm lazy" is an OCD worry. Maybe they do, maybe they do not. When I explained my OCD to my parents, I told them it was these intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts that made me very anxious and like I had to do or not do something. Whenever someone says "that's so OCD" referring to like cleanliness, I simply and calmly tell them that's not at all what it is.

Marcib

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

@Christiansg2_3 Thanks for pointing out the importance of using a "maybe, maybe not" statement surrounding the laziness. I also really appreciate you sharing how you approached your parents and how you adress OCD stereotypes in conversation.

Julia.ocd.wa...

Date posted: Yesterday

I want to say that your story gives me hope. I have been having a lot of trouble driving and leaving the house for a while. So many of my nosy neighbors judge me for not driving and for not leaving the house very much. It makes me feel so ashamed. Do you have any words of encouragement for those who struggle with driving and leaving the house, like myself? Also, regarding advice on how to talk with loved ones about OCD, I can relate to your struggle there. My Dad does not understand my OCD very well at all and refuses to read any articles or other sources of psycho education that I send to him explaining it. I’m honestly not sure that my Dad will ever understand my OCD. My advice is to refrain from going into a lot of detail when telling others about your OCD who you think won’t understand or be supportive. My psychiatrist gave me this advice a while back. It has helped me, so that I’m not seeking support from those who apparently are incapable of giving it. I hope this helps. I know that this is a challenging thing to deal with.

Marcib

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

@Julia.ocd.warrior Thanks for sharing your experience and passing along this piece of advice. I relate to your feelings of being judged for not driving or leaving the house much. Encouragement I can share would be to recognize the smallest of wins. When I first started my exposure work with the driving component, it consisted of me moving a car 3ft in and out of the driveway. While others may not have seen this as a major milestone, it was tremendous progress for me. I think it's important to give yourself credit for your work, whatever it may look like.

Julia.ocd.wa...

Date posted: Yesterday

Sure! :) Thank you for sharing words of encouragement with me! I know that I am definitely too hard on myself and don’t recognize even my big wins very much, so that really helps! I have been in therapy for many years, and although it hasn’t specifically been ERP therapy for very long, I do know that making progress like you did takes a lot of strength and courage. Even though I don’t know you, I want you to know that I still feel proud of you and that I’m rooting for you for continued progress in your recovery!!

Marcib

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

@Julia.ocd.warrior Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I'm rooting for you too! :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3h

Discussion can be helpful. I never learned to drive because of the anxiety (and cost) involved. Belatedly I realized opportunity costs. My sister's resent me over it, and called me a "man child" for not learning driving. But I'm single and never had kids, so it's not something I've ever needed anyways. I live in a down town city in large part for public bussing access.

Andrea Wells

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

My OCD Journey

Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?

Andrea Wells

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19w

Misdiagnosis & OCD

OCD is so much more than just being 'neat' or 'organized'—it’s relentless, exhausting, and often deeply misunderstood. The intrusive thoughts, the compulsions, the anxiety—it can feel like a never-ending cycle that others just don’t seem to get. Many of us have had experiences where even therapists didn’t fully grasp the depth of our struggles. I myself faced difficulty being misdiagnosed and my talk therapist not understanding the full extent of what I was going through until I found NOCD. So many prior therapists wrote off my symptoms as general anxiety, not realizing it was actually OCD all along. If you could sit down with a therapist who truly wanted to understand, what do you wish they knew about OCD?

Shhhhh

Date posted: 15w

Relationship OCD

For those of you in relationships with ROCD, do your partners know of your diagnosis. I am new to treatment and new to this avenue of mental health. I am generally pretty open and honest with my partner about things but the dark side of my mind I keep hidden. I’m scared to tell him about this if I’m diagnosed. And I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed and something real does go south in the relationship then my diagnosis will be used against me.

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Any Advice on How to Talk to Loved Ones About OCD?

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