I just woke up and I keep calling God this terrible word in my head and it feels so real and I’m not super freaked out. I feel kinda numb to the thought but I just feel terrible at the same time because I don’t wanna talk this word I’m scared that God is gonna take me away. I don’t know what to do.
It's normal to get numb to these thoughts. Our brains simply can't stay on "high alert" all the time. It's very common for people with OCD to get numb to the thoughts--and then get distressed because they are not reacting with fear toward the thoughts. But here's the deeper truth. The thought is not dangerous in the first place. You don't have to react to it. It's okay to get numb to it. It just doesn't matter. As you get farther along with treatment, you'll want to get to a point where the intrusive thoughts are there--but they don't bother you at all.
@Tea and Honey I have a question I really struggle to read the Bible I have worse thoughts when I do I freak out I don’t feel close to God I can’t pray without feeling like I’m praying to someone else not God I just go insane and I’m not myself . Does this mean that I don’t want to read the Bible? I feel like I can’t separate the reality and my thoughts
@Tulip1234 Right now, I wouldn't try to read the Bible. It's okay. God understands. We are in a position right now where we (who struggle with OCD) tend to interpret the Bible through a lens of judgement. And until God heals that lens, it's okay if we OCD people don't read a lot of the Bible right now. I would just have a few verses that comfort you soul written down where you can see them. Look at those verses sometimes, if you can. Reading the Bible and going to church often is really hard with we have religious OCD. We get triggered. It's normal. When my OCD was really bad, I stopped going to church for about four months. It wasn't permanent. I went back to church. I was just giving my brain a rest. And that's okay. God is the most important to me. I love God with all my heart and try to serve him reach day. I am not saying that we going up on God. I'm just saying that God is okay with us giving our brains a break. That means if you can't read the Bible right now, that's okay. Christianity is more learning how God treats us with love and care and tenderness--it's not that we have to read the Bible all the time. You are okay! Give your brain a break. Focus on a few verses that help you
@Tea and Honey What a lovely response!
Hello! I know that you have the same kind of OCD I had, and we have similar symptoms. I just posted something on another thread, but I'm going to paste it here in case it helps you. Big hugs. I know you are really suffering. I understand. And I am so so sorry. You are truly not alone. Your symptoms are actually very COMMON within OCD. So just remember, a lot of people are there with you ! You are not alone!! -----------------------////////------ @nae nae The journey of my recovery really started when I first earnestly prayed about it, and trusted God with it. The journey was very, very slow and over many years. After a few years, I learned that I needed to stop fighting the blasphemous thoughts every day. I started to let the terrible thoughts "run" freely through my head. It was a little bit of a scary step, but I did it. In other words, I just let the intrusive thoughts be there, even though they were horrible. And that opened the door for the intrusive thoughts to go away completely. I've no doubt that God did that for me. I still struggled with other things, such as "rules" and many other things, for years. And I still struggle every day today. But the intrusive thoughts are gone. I did ERP therapy years ago through NOCD. And I loved it, and I learned a lot. I found out that all the things that I was already doing is actually what ERP therapy teaches. So now I am a big proponent of ERP therapy. In fact, whenever I'm on this app, I'm constantly asking people if they are doing ERP. I really believe it can make a huge difference for people and get them functional in their lives again. I also am a huge proponent of letting the intrusive thoughts "run" freely through people's heads. It seems like the biggest hurdle that we all face in this community is coming to the point where we stop fighting and "fixing" the thoughts. If most people with OCD could do that, they would experience huge relief.
@Tea and Honey Thank you so much your advice has really helped me a lot and I’m so thankful to know that I’m not the only one who goes through this and that I’m not alone
Does this mean I’m not a Christian and I’m a terrible person because sometimes the thoughts feel real
@Tulip1234 It does NOT mean that at all. You are a Christian. These thoughts have nothing to do with your relationship with God at all. They are meaningless.
Hey everyone, I need help. I woke up just now with the worst thoughts ever. Thoughts that GOD leaving me, thoughts that I like the bad guy, and thoughts that are worse than anything that I have ever thought of before. I realize that I am asking for reassurance, but I am so scared that I mean these thoughts and I just want GOD to keep me and my family safe and know that I don’t mean these thoughts… please help
In my head I told God to do something terrible to me that doesn’t even make sense because I’m a girl. I’ve had this thought before but it felt definitely like I felt like I meant it and I didn’t feel guilty I’m scared I’m not a Christian
In my head, I keep saying screw to God. It feels like I am the one saying it. It’s like I know the thought is coming and that’s what I’m choosing to say. I’m just concerned I really mean it because I don’t feel so bad about it and I don’t know what to do Right now my brain is saying that to God and I’m scared this is not an intrusive thought
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