change

@Someonemaybe Absolutely.

@Someonemaybe I'm glad you're no longer in that job. This brings up something else i struggle with in life, since im so paralyzed by making decisions and going back and fourth in my mind, someone else just happens to make the decision for me some examples: my last job i wasn't happy with how i was being treated either, and then they fired me, then there was this guy who i kept trying to cut off but i suck at boundaries so my boyfriend had to block him from my phone for me, i was friends with a girl for 6 years and she wasn't a great friend and then eventually it was her that dropped me im usually hit with the shock and sadness but then feel relief, i wish i could just make that decision for myself sometimes, its always when it adds up and shit hits the fan It's hard when all i do is doubt my feelings, i just ride everything out

@Pandora_2003 Thank you so much for sharing. I so completely understand that. Try this just for the hell of it if nothing else. Make a decision with something of lesser consequence, that you normally wouldn’t decide for yourself. Afterwards, see how it went, did you make the right choice? If you didn’t, no worries. It’s the resilience that starts that unstoppable momentum. Know that you’re going to get some things right and some things far from it. Celebrate your wins and learn from your mistakes. That’s all we can do. I believe you can but it’s you that has to believe it to truly know its value. You are so worth the effort 💯!

@Anonymous i do want change but idk feels exhausting to even think about tbh bc it wants me to make the change right here and right now and that's overwhelming and not realistic or safe

@Pandora_2003 You can remind yourself that the change doesn’t need to happen immediately (as hard as that is), and you can also set aside time in your calendar to deal with it. I like doing that because then it’s scheduled and I can stop thinking about it. And if I don’t feel like doing it once it’s scheduled, then I just reschedule it. Totally okay.

@Pandora_2003 Do you keep a journal with “to-do” lists and ideas? I like to write down my thoughts (even though that can be scary, and OCD can make me not want to do it so I don’t have to confront those thoughts), and then look at them and go okay, this is what I’m thinking, I don’t have to deal with it right now, but I can schedule a time to deal with it.

@Anonymous I use my notes app to write my thoughts down. I never thought to schedule a time to think, thank you for sharing that. But the hardest part for me, is that i have an amazing boyfriend, amazing best friend, a well paying chill job, a free place to live, I have absolutely nothing to stress over (my ocd will always find a problem tho) so the thought is still there "something needs to change" but nothing is obviously a problem. Like it would be easy if my relationship or job was toxic, if i didn't have a free place and had to move. Right now, it feels as though im just kinda here. Not knowing what the next step of my life even is