Should I feel guilty about being friends with someone I used to hangout with before my partner? This guy hangs out with my friends so it’s hard to avoid him. And then feelings happen and I’m learning that my feelings don’t have to hold significance. Should I feel guilty I’m like why do I still like to be around guys Maybe this is just life. I’m going to see these people. Idk
Hey are you spiraling right now? It would be more productive to use the crisis support function rather than repeatedly seeking reassurance. I know you can do this!
@OutstandingCutieDisorder Yeah I’m freaking out. I used that thank you for the advice. Basically told me to live with doubt
@Mk3 I’m sorry :( did it help at all?
@OutstandingCutieDisorder A little bit. Idk how to live with doubt over this though. I guess I can though, just live in the discomfort honestly. The doubt over constantly questioning if I’ve flirted etc
@Mk3 I’m not sure if this is helpful or just more frustrating, but sometimes when I feel like that I just remind myself that I don’t really have a choice. Even if 100 people replied to you and gave you exactly what you wanted to hear, you would still have doubt. No compulsions are actually going to successfully remove the doubt. So either way, you will have to exist in the doubt whether you resist the compulsions or not. So why waste time and energy doing compulsions that won’t actually help? But I know how hard it is and how horrible it feels.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder That’s very true. Unless I just confessed to my partner and got reassurance that way. That would take it all away. But I’m sure then the cycle will never stop
@Mk3 I highly doubt it. I think it might feel good at first, but afterwards the doubt would creep back for other reasons.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder That’s true. The cycle may never stop if I continue to confess because as I’ve learned it’s always something.
@OutstandingCutieDisorder It just feels like if he tells me it’s okay then I can drop it. But then I’d move to the next thing
@Mk3 Don’t you think you’d start to doubt that he really thinks it’s ok though? Or wonder if it hurt him? Or some other thing? I think the confessing would introduce a whole host of new worries
@OutstandingCutieDisorder @OutstandingCutieDisorder Yeah forsure. Might as well just sit in the doubt I guess. So there’s essentially no good way to deal with this besides choosing the discomfort. Even when it feels like I’ve done wrong. That’s the hard part
@Mk3 Yes, that’s how I see it.
Ocd sucks. I’m at a stay away multiple days long event for school rn and ran into someone I used to talk with. We had a will they won’t they kind of thing for years and knew each other all growing up. I knew when we were really young that he had a crush on me for a while. And then when we got older there were times I had a crush on him but I don’t think he liked me anymore at that point. I never fully knew where he stood because he often was in a relationship or living somewhere else. Because we never dated or kissed or anything, only hung out on ambiguous date-like occasions, there has always been that what if sitting there for me and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since before I met my current partner years ago. Well they happen to be at this place I’m staying at, where we are in the same places everyday, and I ran into them, said hi and caught up for a bit. It has totally triggered my ROCD in a way I’ve never experienced. I feel guilt and shame and keep having intrusive thoughts that are so extreme and catastrophic like what if I leave my partner of 8 years for him, what if I find him more attractive than my partner, what if I cross a line while I’m interacting with him this week, what if I’m a terrible girlfriend to my partner and a fraud??
Just because I have feelings around a guy doesn’t mean I have feelings FOR HIM. Right? I’m just a girl… ugh. But I’m like omg I felt like I wanted to flirt or wanted attention or desire or wanted to look good. And let me say I adore my partner. Aren’t these just human things? But it freaks me out if I feel some type of way around someone else that means I have feelings for them
I’m in a really low place with my ROCD. I feel like I have feelings for someone else & like someone else because of the feelings I have around/about/for this other person I guess. I’m only around this other person when in group settings with friends. I dont want this. I feel nauseous, guilty, all the things as I love my partner so much. I know I struggle with ROCD terribly and I need advice from someone who’s been in my shoes. Is this common in ROCD? Idek
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