and im scared to do anything that i feel happy doing because it feels like im just in denial, but i cant imagine being without my partner, but what if i just see my partner as my friend?
Hey there! Part of OCD is ALSO doubting your OCD. This happens to people with OCD all the time. I have been through that. Exactly what you described, I was afraid that I was „just in denial“. You are not in denial. It’s another doubt your OCD is creating. We are here for you :)
@Rafiii What was the best treatment for you?
@ArranW10 I am not going to lie and I’m going to be very honest. I was doing extremely bad, to the point I almost got hospitalized. At that point, I unfortunately had no solution and was lost in the OCD loop. I started therapy and medication. I have an amazing therapist. First step she told me to take was to label my obsessive thoughts and tell myself „don’t worry! It’s just your OCD, everything’s gonna be fine“. Then she demanded I do nice things for myself everyday, as if I am taking my younger me out to do fun things. Go out and have a milkshake, go to the lake on a sunny day, meet a friend and have pizza etc..I stopped asking for reassurance. Completely. But it took time and effort. I started dance classes. All these things calmed me down to a point that now, I can successfully ignore my silly obsessions. The moment I sense that these are obsessions, I choose not to engage and I label them. Then I distract myself calmly (not in a panic!!). It’s been a year and now I can safely say that I’m almost cured! Sorry for my long text, I just want to encourage people and make you see that there is definitely hope and I am proof for it. I would say, try to recognize your thoughts and label them. Tell yourself that you are safe and everything is going to be okay (it really is going to be okay). Do fun things. It will distract you a little and help the stress levels go down. Then you will be much more able to successfully ignore your obsessions.
@Rafiii Thanks so much for sharing this! Really appreciate it. I have recognised my obsessions for a while now but it’s got to a point that I want to help myself as the constant negative thoughts about my relationship are becoming tiring and will eventually have a burden on it. I am sure I will get better and am positively hopeful after all the first step is recognising and wanting to get better. Thanks again for your message tho, I wish you all the best in your recovery!
@ArranW10 Oh you’re welcome! Trust me, I know how it feels! But I would really advice you to start therapy, if you haven’t already. If you find a good therapist, it will be great help. You will also feel much more confident and supported. Thank you for your wishes ❣️
I can help but I need you to respond
I’ve just downloaded this app but this is my situation too so your not alone
I’m really scared that if I stop panicking about my thoughts, they will become real. Lately, I’ve been feeling irritated by my boyfriend, and sometimes I even think he annoys me or disgusts me. When these thoughts come, they feel so real, like I genuinely don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. And now I’m terrified that if I stop reacting with fear, it means I actually don’t want him, and I’ve just been in denial this whole time. What if the fact that I’m getting used to these thoughts means I’m actually accepting them as the truth? What if my fear was the only thing keeping me from realizing I don’t love him anymore? I’ve read about people saying that, with ROCD, thoughts lose their power over time, but I’m scared that in my case, that will just mean I’ll end up accepting something I don’t want to be true. On top of that, I had a situation where I noticed a guy at school, and my anxiety made me obsess over it. I remember seeing him last year and paying attention to how he dressed, which made me panic and think, ‘What if I like him?’ The thought wouldn’t leave my head, and I even thought about it at home, which made me feel guilty. Recently, I had to go to his classroom for a project with my teacher, and when I saw him, I felt like I got nervous or something. Now I’m terrified that I like him, and that it means I don’t love my boyfriend. I don’t even know his name, I don’t want to know, but my mind won’t stop obsessing over it. Meanwhile, my boyfriend told me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and that breaks my heart. I feel so guilty because I’m constantly thinking that I don’t like my boyfriend, and now my brain is telling me I like someone else. What if I’m only with my boyfriend because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m in denial? I just want to feel normal again. my boyfriend is amazing he dosent deserve this
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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