- Date posted
- 4w
Guilt over insects
potential trigger warning cus insects and stuff (contamination ocd?) . Its summer in the UK, and theres a lot more bugs around. I dont dislike bugs, and if we're outside its whatever, but I realised i have huge fears when bugs are in my house. I keep getting images of fruit flies or other bugs bein at the bottom of my drink whenever i see one, or them flying into my eyes or mouth and how horrible that would feel. Ive realised i constantly feel on edge when theres insects. Its not debilitating and i can push past it pretty easily but I will stay stressed and anxious until i forget about them or go somewhere else. I also sometimes search rooms for bugs kindof subconciously? like when I enter a room - especially the bathroom cus you feel more vulnerable and all that in there - im always looking around, checking walls and the ceilings and looking to see if the window was left open and bugs mightve gotten in. Dead insects also make me feel really guilty. I remember as a kid i used to litterally break into sobbing tears when my dad would kill a fly, and although I dont cry anymore I feel just as bad whenever I see a insect dead in the bathtub or sink (where they often get stuck cus slippery surface + water) Does anyone know how to lessen my fears around bugs and the guilt? Im not scared of the bugs themselves at all. I love bugs, i find moths and ladybugs and spiders really cute but its just the "what if they get in my eye" and "what if i kill them" that repeats in my head whenever im around one.