Hey guys, recently I’ve been struggling with always checking in with my emotions. And it gets very tiring right now I’m dealing with some suicidal OCD and I constantly check for negative emotions or depression. I’ve noticed it’s very hard for me to stop checking my emotions cause it’s something I’m used to doing because I have mental illness. Any advice on how to stop checking. Thanks 🙏
Hello! I struggle with this as well and have been dealing with suicidal ocd for a year and a half. What helped me was tracking every time I checked my emotions. I was doing it involuntarily so I didn’t even realize when I was doing it. Tracking it helped me to become more aware and then when it happened I could choose to lean into uncertainty or use a non-engagement response to my intrusive thoughts about being sad, depressed, etc. You won’t have to track it forever, just in the beginning, eventually you’ll be able to just notice when you’re doing it and can sit with the uncertainty and move on. You got this!
@OCD_1day@aTime ✨ I’ll try that out thanks
Idk how to stop checking either, I mainly got better because of medication but I still find myself falling back into the same patterns bc ERP therapy is so difficult
I used to have this when I was a teenager! It stemmed from some existential OCD and I thought I was suicidal but didn't want to actually kms (just felt like I HAD to). I noticed it got worse when people would ask me how I'm feeling because then I was like "how am I feeling?" And usually the response from the inner voice in my head would be "like sh*t" and that just sent me into a downward spiral. I think the best thing I can suggest is to do things that get you out of your head and into your body. The more you focus on how you're feeling, the more it feels complicated and muddies the waters and blurs the lines between what you are ACTUALLY feeling, and what OCD wants you to THINK you are feeling. For me it was working out a lot that helped me (lots of cardio to get that runners high) but also some days my depression would be so bad the thought even putting shoes on felt overwhelming. On days like this I would suggest something tactile like playing with kinetic sand or adult coloring books or some sort of crafting that requires using your hands. Something that reminds you that you're not just a walking-talking head full of thoughts and feelings, but an actual soul with a body. This is all easier said than done so let me know if I hit the nail on the head or if I missed the mark entirely. I hope you find peace, and just know that you're not alone💖
This is key for me for my OCD in general. Although difficult, observing my feelings in my body vs in my thoughts are such different experiences for me. If through my body the feelings are felt, I feel whole and real, then naturally lose interest without guilt and move on. But with thoughts it's like I feel fragmented or distant from what I should or want to do and I'm stuck in the thoughts for a very long time. It helps me to get into my body ASAP when triggered as my thoughts BEG for the attention. I try anything I can think of (ex: "maybe/maybe not") to motivate to direct focus in my body and then do as slow of a body scan as possible attempting to notice everything and sit in it.
@FallForest Yeah that’s great thanks
OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
I’m currently struggling with guilt from checking OCD. By this I mean, I feel guilty and shameful by my OCD checking because I feel as that was immoral and wrong and I really don’t know what to do. How can I fight this?
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