Right now I am feeling a lot of anxiety

I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear around what I know and what I don’t know. I also just had some a French vanilla coffee so I think this made it worse. And I should have known better. I realize I am really uncomfortable about what is out of control to the point I am very scared and nervous and I don’t know what it is about. Every time I journal I feel a strong urge to through the journal away and get a new one, in the same way every choice and decision I make it is out of fear and uncomfortableness not because it is my actual decision. So now I feel like more than ever ocd is controlling my life even though I know that what it is and that it is not something to be afraid of but I stilll constantly doubt and judge myself. I officially got diagnosed I was not sure before but what is the first step to taking back control over your life and yourself? I am on the waiting list for therapy but also I wish I could go to therapy sooner but I want someone I know I will work well with and I don’t want to rush thing because I know I will not do well at making such a big step in my own because I will overthink it so I just want to get myself to a point where I can do important things like that for myself. With school coming up I am even more stressed and worried about making the right decisions. Any tips? I would appreciate it. Also can anyone relate to this confusion and this dilemma with making important dedication like getting help and going to the doctor? Any did it make it hard to navigate school?

dollandtoylover

Date posted: 28d

I understand a lot of your concerns! I try to remember that fear gets worse when you confront it. Meaning that dedicating yourself to treatment may lead to more frequent/intense intrusions and urges. That is what’s been happening for me, and what helps me not give up or give in is my motivation for seeking treatment in the first place. I created a “cost-benefit analysis”, which is basically a tool to highlight the advantages and disadvantages of accepting or rejecting treatment. While it’s painful remembering what I have lost to OCD and how I’ve hurt others because of it, I try to use that pain to push myself to make more productive choices (instead of compulsing). I’m not in professional treatment, so I just try to do what I can with resources from public libraries and the free stuff on this app. While treatment is scary, a lifetime of rituals and fear probably isn’t any better. But the most important thing I’ve learned is that as long as we keep trying, there is hope. We can learn to manage these struggles, despite the difficulty.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 28d

Honestly, what’s helped me is to invite the doubt and fear in and accept that I’ll never be 100% certain of anything, and that’s okay. If I keep compulsively trying to reason with myself and fight with my mind, that tells my brain that this is a problem that is worth putting emotional resources in, which in turn makes it worse. I know it’s far easier said than done, and I’m not sure how well I explained it, but I hope it helps. An analogy I have for it is imagine that you’re walking down the street, minding your business, and some dude coming the opposite direction insults you as you walk past. You could either: a)Confront the stranger and begin to argue with them over their comment, thus making the situation bigger. Or b)Keep walking and allow yourself to accept the fact that, while their comment may have bothered you, they simply are not worth your time. Again, not sure if any of that makes sense but I hope it helps

Baboso250!

Date posted: 16w

Overthinking and anxiety

Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 13w

fear of losing control??

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

erikmk

Date posted: 5w

OCD abt living fully, time management, decisions

I’m new to NOCD and just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone else can relate or has any thoughts or advice. My thing is needing a system or some kind of digitally saved reference (online article/notes app) to make decisions on how to live my life and spend my time- then I get super caught up in what is the objectively “right” system to have which never really leads anywhere- over the last 6+ years I’ve probably changed this system over 100 times because at some point I realized it wasn’t “right”. At best, I stick with a system for months and be pretty free from OCD but at worst I can go months where I only experience intermittent periods of living free from OCD and spend hours and hours putting my life on hold trying to figure out what the right system is or to answer and figure out impossible answers to completely subjective things. I get a lot of regret over all the time and life I’ve wasted in this cycle, and feel kinda like everything I’ve done in previous systems was “wrong” so I try to fix that by undoing some of those actions. I think part of the root of this is wanting to control so many parts of my life and the fact that there are other parts of life I could be experiencing, ways I could be improving, and that there is so much out there that I could never ever do or experience all of it leads me to try to figure out some system that gives me a better feeling of control over this. If anyone reads all this that’s awesome- lmk if this resonates with you at all

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Right now I am feeling a lot of anxiety

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