I too am the oldest child, it is just my sister and I. I have always been that person to feel emotions, feelings of myself and others stronger than others around me, ever since I could remember. It would come natural to me to sit down with someone just let them vent, cry on my shoulder, or many times I could just tell what was wrong or something was wrong. Family, friends or sometimes even a random stranger just felt like they could talk to me. Of course I would tell the random stranger hello how are you with a smile. I have always believed that this was my gift from GOD, I have never doubted it. Have I strayed from GOD, yes, but I never stopped believing in Him. I knew He never left me. There will always be either family or someone we care for deeply that may not feel the same way about God. I am still learning everyday how to get through this emotional roller coaster and lay all my worries, fears, and anxieties at his feet. He has the power to take it away. We do care and love deeply and I know He understands this. I pray often, from my heart, I cry with Him letting my emotions go. He knows our hearts. He knows how much we care for our loved ones and much we just want people to be kind to one another. I am not this person now that has always been good, I have made many horrible choices in my life, but I have been saved by the Grace and Mercy of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I still feel the punch and pain of those choices today but it is up to me what path I choose to take. I have chosen my path of Jesus, Reading the Bible, Praying, I choose to pray with others, and alone privately, Studying the Bible. My life has taken a different direction and it is better. Am I better, no, because I still let the world in. But I know God is patient and loves us unconditionally and He knows we are trying to become better for Him. I know that every little thing I have success on is a blessing from Him. And for that I am so very grateful. I struggle a lot with scenarios with family members and how I would deal with it, whether it would be good or bad. It has been better lately because of God, prayer is powerful. I will pray for you, and your family. I know how hard it is when family is involved. My sister and her husband and my niece are all going through a difficult time right now. My sister believes in Jesus, but I am not 100% sure if she has been saved. My brother in law doesnât believe in Christianity, but rather more of the science end of things and that there is a being controlling things. My niece is the one I am most concerned about she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but it seems sketchy to me. I am certainly not saying anyone with bipolar disorder has a problem, or itâs not real. Not at all, I most definitely understand that this is a real disorder and it needs to be addressed properly and more effectively for people. We have the most ridiculous medical insurance, healthcare, for people with mental health conditions. I know I am on an app for preventive measures to help mental health, but there isnât enough information, free help, there is stigma all around. There are people with no way to get help. And the government does not give a hoot. Itâs misinformation constantly being spread everywhere on the internet and from person to person. You would think that in medical facilities, schools, hospitals, everywhere really we would have information for all for free. I mean just information, and the facts, data. People need to start helping out one another and stop thinking about the all mighty dollar. I just donât understand why this doesnât happen enough. Why the government has to be involved in every single thing. Maybe there is things I donât understand. I know I care, and just know what is morally right and wrong. I know that there are many things that should have been fixed a long time ago with our medical system and itâs still left there like no one cares. I donât understand evil, pure evil, hate, when you intentionally and you deliberately hurt others and know what you are doing, it is not a disorder, it is just pure hatred. I am rambling on, that is another OCD issue, sorry. Back to my niece, she has tried to commit suicide several times over and has been dropped from her last doctor that was online she just like vanished so she was without medications and it made everything horrible. They finally found another doctor and she was finally able to slowly get her back on track. She still has a really rough time. She has been a homeschooler ever since she was 11 or 12. They live in a state where she felt very uncomfortable with her surroundings and the kids and the way they treating her. My sister didnât like there teaching curriculum so that was another reason. She was a very smart kid too, and when they moved from the state they were previously, this school didnât have the same level of education as her last one. So she started homeschooling. But she did it mostly by herself, online. My sister and brother in law did help I am sure when they could. But my sister suffers from chronic Crohnâs disease and Ulcerative colitis along with many other medical issues that arose through the years either from this autoimmune disease or from the medications or finding out she had something else wrong. My niece saw everything, and this made all her problems and symptoms and fears worse. She doesnât believe in God, even though her mom taught her. She believes pretty much the same as her dad. She now came out as a lesbian about year and half ago. Has never been with anyone. Only online. She has social anxiety and phobia. She takes care of her mom. In my heart I believe God has always been there for her, walking along side her through everything, and understands her mind is so very fragile, and that she hasnât had the opportunity to understand Him the way most of us can, and He will never let her go because He knows it was never her fault. âĽď¸
