Fear of bipolar disorder

Hi guys, I am thoroughly struggling lately with my fear of mania and depression. I’ve even been experiencing random anxiety bouts of insomnia getting so anxious when I try to go to sleep and then I get afraid that it’s mania which then adds another layer because I’m afraid I’m not gonna be able to sleep, but I’m gonna be tired And then wake up and like am I tired enough for not sleeping well? As I like, go on a walk and start crying because I spent an hour googling if it’s insomnia or mania. The thing is all the therapist I’ve had and no one around me, thinks that I exhibit any signs but I just am having a really hard time shaking it

[Deleted]

Date posted: 27d

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Anonymous

Date posted: 27d

@.worthless. It’s so bad some days I don’t think about it at all and other days it’s all I can think about obviously the days where I don’t sleep well don’t help And then whenever I feel sad I get scared and then I have intrusive harm thoughts and I just feel like I’m going crazy I just fear I’m gonna go into a depressive episode or become manic. Do something against my will or out of my control to hurt myself.

Anonymous

Date posted: 27d

@.worthless. Ughhhhh the worst I’m so sorry! I tend to scan memories to see if I can prove I’m manic or depressed and when I can’t sleep from anxiety I just have a really hard time not giving in

Geometricsun

Date posted: 27d

I know it’s basic, but as someone with bipolar and ocd, response prevention thoughts like “maybe it’s mania maybe it’s not” or “no amount of research will give me a clear answer” are helpful. Also, as someone that has experienced mania many times, it usually feels good, and not anxious. I’ve had the sleep ocd stuff before too, so I feel you there

Anonymous

Date posted: 27d

@Geometricsun It’s funny because while I’m in it, I’m like if this is mania, it sucks because I feel anxious and exhausted . It all started one day when I was driving down the road like a year and a half ago and a song was playing and I was in a good mood and I just got this random thought that what if I was manic and then it made me panic and then it’s literally been a thing since. I have been definitely trying that, but because I got anxious about sleeping last night, which then made me not sleep well on top of the fact, then I was afraid I was going into mania because I couldn’t fall asleep. I didn’t do a very good job with the ERP responses this morning. My brains even like are you tired enough after only sleeping a few hours or is this mania?🥴

Geometricsun

Date posted: 27d

@Anonymous That sounds so hard! I’m really sorry this is something you’re going through. If it’s helpful, having bipolar or mania is not the end of the world and something that many many people deal with every day It also sounds very unlikely that you actually have any mania

Anonymous

Date posted: 27d

@Geometricsun That’s the thing being bipolar is not that big of a deal. I don’t know why it’s such a fear. It’s more I fear that I have undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and I’m either gonna become manic or depressed and do something that I don’t wanna lose control of who I am and hurt myself against my will I’ve had four therapist tell me that they don’t see any signs of bipolar disorder and also a friend who is a Doctor Who almost went into a mental health career say the same But those stupid intrusive thoughts I also have ADHD and I get worried that like I got misdiagnosed and it’s not actually ADHD or I somehow hit it and I’m actually bipolar, but I was good at hiding it

cows12465

Date posted: 23w

fear of psy. and sci.

does anyone else have an intense fear of developing schizophrenia or psychosis. This has been a really heavy theme for me as well. I’m constantly checking to see if I have symptoms or if I’m gonna go crazy or develop these. it’s so scary.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Ocd/going crazy

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 13w

fear of losing control??

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

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Fear of bipolar disorder

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