Religious OCD

@Tea and Honey It just scares me because at first I was angry when I said that thought so. I said it out of anger and then I didn’t feel guilty for a while until I actually talked about it then I started crying. I just feel so closed off and I don’t want to be like that. I started a new medicine so I don’t feel a lot of emotions right now and that scares me a lot.

@Tulip1234 The medicine flattens emotion. That's how the medicine works. There is a very big difference in emotion level. I was on Prozac for years. Then I went off for a few months. It was like my emotions came back "online". I couldn't handle it. So I went back on Prozac where my emotions are flatter. OCD always attacks by making you feel like you did something unforgivable at a moment when you are angry or overwhelmed. That's a huge OCD tactic. This has happened to me so many times!!!! I felt like I did or said something blasphemous when I was angry and just couldn't resist the OCD anymore. But the truth is very comforting. The truth is you can't commit blasphemy in any of the ways that OCD says that you can. In fact, blasphemy is all together some thing different . And you are SAFE, even though you don't feel safe. I know how this feels. I tell myself that I am safe every day. I have to because OCD has told me for so many years that I am not. It takes a long time to feel safe, however, because the OCD is so convincing to us. So don't get discouraged. Tell yourself that you are on a journey together with God. All you need is a little baby every day, even if it's the tiniest step. I'm here for you if you need anything.

@Tulip1234 Also, don't worry if you don't "care" about the bad thoughts after you think them. When you do ERP therapy, you are actually trying to get to a point where you don't care about the thoughts. This is because you have to learn to let the thoughts be there (without them bothering you anymore). Think about this. The more you fight the thoughts and push back the against them, the worse they get. The more that you don't care if they are there, the more they fade away. Did I send you a list of helpful sites for people with religious OCD and blasphemous thoughts? I don't think I did. I'll paste it below.

@Tea and Honey Thank you so much you’re advice always helps me. I’m just so afraid that I’m gonna lose my faith or not care God because I’m already becoming numb and not caring about stuff as much

@Tulip1234 OCD makes your mind numb. We come to this sort of numb burnout. That is very normal for OCD. In fact, it should be expected when our minds experience such exhaustion and suffering and fear 100% of the time. I think we can expect our minds to hit into that kind of burnout. in the end, though, it is just OCD. So try practicing this: Every time something is OCD, just throw it in the garbage bin. I know that this is hard to do. And I know sometimes it doesn't make any sense, because the OCD feels so real. That's why you have to make it a decision that no matter what, you will throw the OCD in the garbage bin, even when you don't understand. In other words, tell yourself that every time something is OCD you're going to throw it away 🗑️ and keep moving on with your life. It looks like this: The fear and worry that you are going to stop caring about God? That's just OCD. So you are going to throw that in the garbage bin and keep moving on with your life. The intrusive thoughts? Those are just OCD. So you are just going to throw them in the garbage bin and keeping moving on with your life. The OCD doesn't mean anything. It's like a wisp of smoke in your mind. It's not actually real at all. You are not actually losing faith in God. You are just experiencing the pain of what it's like when we don't allow ourselves to live under freedom, the way that God designed us to live. God actually WANTS you to live in that grace and freedom. He does not want you to feel like a slave who serving is him out of fear. And the way to get to that freedom is to defeat the OCD. And the only way to defeat the OCD is to face your fears. We have to literally walk through our scariest fears and get to the other side in order to defeat OCD. People with OCD Are not weak. They're actually very brave. Once they realize they have to do the opposite of what OCD tells them to do, it takes a lot of courage to do those things. We defeat the OCD by breaking its rules. When the OCD tells you that your intrusive thoughts are actually Real, you have to go on with life as though those intrusive thoughts were never there. Even when your OCD screams at you that God is going to abandon you, you have to keep moving. You have to come to a deeper truth that God is reasonable and doesn't even consider your OCD as a real thing at all. That God is love, and that he sees your suffering. And that he doesn't participate in OCD. Instead, God wants you to live in freedom outside of OCD. All of these OCD thoughts don't matter to God. They don't change anything about our life. They don't make God abandon us or stop loving us. In fact, the OCD thoughts don't matter at all. What does matter to God is that you trust him enough to take steps forward to defeat the OCD. And you can do this with your hand in his hand, out of faith. So watch for your next opportunity. When the OCD tells you that you have to do this or that or you are going to die, practice breaking the OCD rules. Practice acting as if the thoughts don't mean anything at all in your head. It will be really scary, especially at first. It will FEEL as though you are going to die. But this is where the Bible verse "walk by faith, not by sight" comes into play. You will be literally walking on the faith that God is good and that he doesn't care about the OCD thoughts at all, and they don't matter. Inside, you will be feeling terrible doubt and fear that the world is ending, and that you were going to die. But with time and practice, your faith will get stronger. And you will be breaking free from the OCD. The only power of the OCD has over you is to control you through fear.

@Tea and Honey I was just sitting in my room in the span of like five minutes my brain said about every intrusive thought I’ve ever had at once the main one that bothered me was my brain said that the Holy Spirit was not of God, but you know who I’m scared that I meant that I know the Holy Spirit is God

@Tulip1234 That is normal. It'a just another intrusive thought. It doesn't matter. Just let it pass just like all the other intrusive thoughts

@Tea and Honey I've said all sorts of blashemous thoughts in my head too. God does not care if you say these thoughts in your head

@Tea and Honey Okay I’m gonna try to not worry

@Tulip1234 Yes!!!! Try not to worry. Every time he take a step to try not to worry, you are taking another step to defeat the OCD. Every time you get up and go do something else and go about your life, you are taking another step to defeat the OCD. You are on the right path !!!!!! it will get easier over time

@Tea and Honey Thank you:))