Going crazy

I have false memory ocd and harm ocd and I’ve really lost it this time, I read an article about a girl going missing in my city and I convinced myself I had something to do with it and don’t remember cause I had 1 drink a month ago in the pub with my gf. The girl herself commented saying she wasn’t missing and I became obsessed with checking her page to make sure she was ok, I then blocked her to stop myself getting in the spiral of checking but in a moment of panic I unblocked her and I saw that she liked a video about being blocked so now I think that was in response to me. My gf told keeps telling me I did nothing wrong that night and it’s just my ocd again and I’d remember if anyhting bad happened cause I only had one drink and that girl doesn’t know me so it’s just a coincidence that she liked a video about blocking but I worry about it all day everyday, I just can’t stop checking or trying to find a way to ‘prove’ nothing happened, the more I check the worse it gets, I’ll going to lose my gf if this keeps up, I know she’s getting tired of my ocd, pls help

Abi222

Date posted: 24d

I promise you that you’re going to be okay. That you had nothing to do with it. The fact that you’re so concerned about it proves that you had nothing to do with it, people who actually do things like that don’t feel any remorse. It’s all going to be okay. You are not going crazy. Try to take some deep breaths.

Ih8ocd!

Date posted: 24d

@Abi222 Thank you, my gf went to get a drink when we were in the pub so that was the only time I was alone and I remember I was getting all these intrusive thoughts during this time so I’m so afraid I did something bad just before she returned, my gf told me that the person I blocked doesn’t even know me so wouldn’t even realise i had blocked her so liking a video about blocking could be about anybody, trying to tell myself this, it’s just so annoying that that video was liked in between the 4/5 hours I had her blocked, these thoughts just make me feel like I’ve gone crazy sometime

N 💛

Date posted: 24d

You didn’t do anything wrong. This is a common OCD theme! In my experience the best way to quiet the OCD is to stop the cycle. Try not to check her page, google the story, or ask your gf for reassurance. That gives the obsession more power. Once you feel a little less panicked, you can also try an acceptance technique where you say “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”. Basically accept the uncertainty. Accept that you will never be able to prove anything because that’s the way OCD works. Everytime you find proof the OCD convinces you you need more. So you have to relinquish certainty & tell yourself “I can live with the uncertainty”. Everyday we live with uncertainty in so many areas. For example an elephant COULD fall out of the sky and kill you, but we don’t worry about that. You have to accept uncertainty sometimes. (This is meant to be an uncomfortable exercise because that takes the power away from OCD. it will take a lot of time and practice but overtime it does help!)

Ih8ocd!

Date posted: 24d

@natalie1234 Thank you, I’m just worried that if I don’t check it again I’ll just never get rid of this feeling of dread, literally feel sick, just want to feel like myself again

N 💛

Date posted: 24d

@Ih8ocd! yes, that’s how the cycle keeps you trapped. you have to resist the urges. it may be harder in the short term but it will help break you out of this in the long term. have you talked to a therapist?

Ih8ocd!

Date posted: 24d

Just started therapy, have my 2nd session next week, I’m hoping that over the next few days the urges will become less and less because I really do let it affect every aspect of my life

dee012

Date posted: 25w

false memory ocd :(

TW// MENTION OF DR8GS, SXUAL CONTENT false memory ocd is targeting my earlier teen years, around 16, I had a friend and we both did droogs (spelled it like that for a reason) one time together. I was scared to do the other stuff we had so she did it. but I remember us like touching eachothers chest as like girl stuff I guess idk it was weird lol… like about our sizes but then later on I had asked her smthng about ohh “would u ever wanna do stuff? or would u feel like that’s weird” something along those lines… and I remember her saying “ohhh I mean idk I would but I wouldn’t want it to make things weird between us”.. now here’s my thing. I remember just agreeing and accepting it and moving on, but obviously feeling weird cus that was sortve rejection. But my brain is saying what if u kept asking? Or questioned her? (We never did anything but likeee my ocd is like what if u tried to push it) and my brain is like what if u wanted to do it just bc she was under influence? I wanted us both to do it while under influence 1. Because we wouldn’t be anxious 2. I thought it would be fun at the time 3. I felt like it would be less weird if we were high. I did not PLAN for us to do these substances just for this reason but it was in my head that maybe we would do stuff if we had a sleepover or something plus I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy and I also like girls. All im thinking is what if she said yes? MY high wore off before hers and hers was lasting longer so she would’ve been under the influence and that would’ve been super bad I would’ve felt like I 🍇 her or something… that’s why im scared right now. Idk if these what ifs are true and I literally am sick with uncertainty. If it’s true that would make me feel so terrible, like a predator (like I tried to coerce her or something) but idk what’s true and what’s not. I just remember this false memory being triggered by the fact that I asked when we were on stuff but my stuff had already wore off is what’s bothering me. (We took different things) I remember worrying about this false memory before, and was able to move on. Also me and that girl were friends for a couple years after that until we fell out over stupidity. And we also had sleepovers after that and idk if I already asked her for reassurance like ohhh are u sure I didn’t make u uncomfortable.. but idk if I did. I want to ask but I can’t because I guess she is not around right now. Like MIA.(her own personal stuff im assuming) Any advice would help :(

Twilightprin...

Date posted: 24w

Some advice please- I feel like my life is falling

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 23w

False memory ocd

Hey everyone, I’m still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly can’t remember at all what they had said to me but I’m pretty sure i remember I responded with “Lol” or “Thank you” , and I think the reason I’m really struggling right now is that I can’t remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didn’t want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think I’m just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because it’s been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much it’s just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.

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Going crazy

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