- Date posted
- 12w
Gender ocd
Sometimes this app is triggering…😅 Someone said that if erp didn’t work, i should try gender affirming…its so scary! Even if im not diagnosed officially but still,what do you think?(I don’t want gender affirming 😔)
Sometimes this app is triggering…😅 Someone said that if erp didn’t work, i should try gender affirming…its so scary! Even if im not diagnosed officially but still,what do you think?(I don’t want gender affirming 😔)
No worries :) It's important to note that not all advice given is beneficial or factual, as we are not professionals, but I'm sure the advice is given with nothing but good intent as people genuinely are trying to help in a way they see possible. Gender affirming treatment would indeed be harmful for SOOCD because that treatment would validate our intrusive thoughts ("Am i actually gay?) as actually being real, when intrusive thoughts are just meaningless chatter that we shouldn't pay any attention to. That treatment would also involve constant reassurance and constant arguing with the intrusive thoughts (compulsions) about what orientation we are that we are doubtful of. But we always wanna stay away from compulsions if we have OCD. SOOCD is supposed to be treated the same way as any OCD theme: they are all treated with ERP, which is awarded as the gold-standard treatment for Ocd. ACT, self-compassion, and a healthy lifestyle also help a lot. ERP therapists often teach those practices in combination with ERP. Aside from that, I would stay away from using anything else that ERP therapists don't advocate for.
@Love1another<3 I wanted to say,is it still so ocd if im scared of being into women,not being gay itself? Like,if i was a boy,and gay,it won’t be scary cuz if mean i love men,but if gay woman? No..im a woman but my head is so tired
@Mimo116 Yeah :) Anything in the world can turn into an obsession. There’s no limits on what counts as Ocd or not. I have had obsessions and compulsions over something as small as what pair of earrings I wanted to order on Amazon haha 😄 For SOOCD, I’ve even heard of gay people afraid of turning straight! I also hear of people afraid of turning bi or lesbian. OCD will attack all angles. All of those have in common- the obsession of losing your sense of identity and therefore, accidentally making life choices against your values/morals. This is a common core fear across many OCD themes
@Love1another<3 I said that because SOOCD is fearing of being gay.but i fear being into women in secret and not into men,so in scared im a lesbian! But im not upset of “gay”,like,if im a boy i wont mind being gay and that mean im for men,so its confusing,am I really experiencing HOCD? :( I wasnt upset at all,the point i joined an online game and put mlm flag and pretend im a gay boy.it wasn’t for to be boy as a gender ,but facing the fear but with still show that im for men.and when it was fun and not bad,my brain saya that im secretly a boy or trans. Im tireeeedddddd
@Mimo116 I get you completely 🫶 Yes, if you have an obsessive fear and you do compulsions around it (mental or physical), then it’s most likely OCD. I hear some rumination in your post and that’s one form of a compulsion. The obsessive fear of being into women/being a lesbian is definitely part of SOOCD as well :) SOOCD pertains to any orientation- the fear of being bi, straight, lesbian, gay, transgender, nonbinary, etc. It sounds like you’re also experiencing a theme called “Meta OCD” which involves having questions like “is this really OCD or is this something else?” Also, I’m sorry you’re so exhausted. I find that the compulsions are what makes us so tired and when we get those under control, life starts to feel more peaceful again 👍 I think ERP therapy would benefit you
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.
I don't usually post on here because it could end up becoming a compulsion or could be seen as reassurance seeking but I think I just need a place to vent and to also get some encouragement and peer support. I am really struggling with my intrusive thoughts and feelings today. All of it feels extremely real and convincing. Right now, I feel thoroughly convinced that I have already identified as either a lesbian or bisexual. I have been diagnosed with OCD by both a psychiatrist and a psychologist years ago and I still feel convinced that it isn't OCD. I keep feeling as if I am just using OCD as a cover-up / as an excuse to deny my “actual” sexual orientation / to hide the “fact that I'm actually lesbian / bisexual”. I have been practicing ERP whenever my schedule allows but it's tough... ERP typically works for me but on days like today, it doesn't seem to be working and that makes me doubt if I have OCD or not. At the same time, I am also convinced that ERP isn't working and I am secretly in denial / struggle with comphet / have internalised homophobia (which makes it worse because my family is homophobic and most of my intrusive thoughts have been targeting that / using that as evidence). Feeling really scared and hopeless... 😞
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