Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

Need help right now

So been trying to do erp with my therapist for a while now, and tis really hard and feels like it's not working. Il get this weird sensation or feeling that makes me feel"gay" or as if I'm attracted to someone, and I know my therapist keeps telling me" you don't have to put meaning into the thoughts or feelings" but that seems impossible to do because and I'm sorry to say, it makes me feel that specific way. And I'll use the Erp quotes, "maybe maybe not" or"the more I struggle, the worse it gets" or"these feelings and thoughts are here, but I'm choosing to let them be" and I'll do nothing and try to let it be here but it's so distracting and feels very real, and it's like this sensation, small or big and it last all day, and even just sitting with it isn't working. And my therapist will tell me"you don't have to believe in it" and I'm sorry I feel like if it were that easy, OCD would have never been a problem in the first place, or live with uncertainty, however it doesn't feel like uncertainty, but feels very truthful or valid. Idk what I'm doing wrong tho

Toffeecoffee

Date posted: 3d

You’re not doing anything wrong. ERP isn’t supposed to feel like it’s working—it’s supposed to feel messy and awful at first. The fact it feels so real means OCD is doing its job, not that it’s true. Talk to your therapist about how much you’re struggling. My therapist and I had to switch up the plan multiple times until we found what I needed—and then we switched it again later. Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes you need to work on a different ERP or move to something lower on your hierarchy first. Be honest that you feel stuck so they can explain it another way or adjust the approach. Success isn’t feeling better; it’s not doing compulsions even when it feels 100% real. You’re already doing the hard work...hang in there. You may feel like you can't breathe but remember take the breath anyway

ERP is the w...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d

We all go through these terrible feelings when these ocd thoughts come to us. I would say the biggest thing is to be patient with yourself and ocd . Ok so you can tell me the exact thoughts you are having if you want but I will make up a thought to give an example. Thought:”wow! Liam Hemsworth is sexy” Your reaction might be omg this is terrible and you might start arguing with the thought. Try responding one time and one time only to the thought with maybe or maybe not . After that just go on with your day . You might feel bad but just let yourself feel bad . We don’t have a time limit on how long you will feel this way but you still do whatever you were doing . Watching tv , eating , typing your essay , whatever you were doing keep doing it . If you see a person on tv and the ocd thought says you are attracted to that person . You can pause the tv and just stare at the image and don’t respond to whatever thoughts come in . I believe it’s all about knowing you can’t control your thoughts . You really cannot . You only have control over the actions . Thoughts come and go. Just let yourself feel bad do not respond to those thoughts

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

Ok cool, I guess I would say to that how do you deal with the feelings that make it feel real and valid, like an actual crush? And I keep getting hyperfocus on it, like checking on my feelings"if they are still there" and I can't control it

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

"We dont have a time limit" Yes like they said! Sometimes they are quick.. sometimes they last alot longer!!

ERP is the w...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous I think everyone said it “you doing nothing, just let crush be their, the feelings . All of it can stay . Do not try to control because guess what ? You can’t control it so stop trying . You just feel the feeling

Thornhill

Date posted: 3d

It takes practice. ERP is very hard but it's worth the time. I'm completely bemused that it should only take '30 minutes' because that is unrealistic. Some things with OCD you will find melt away with the discomfort of uncertainty within minutes and some will last days or weeks. There is no timeline. With each time you use your tools, you help your brain learn that it doesn't need to fight the thoughts, just sit with the discomfort like being next to a stranger on the bus. They are there but you don't need to acknowledge them. Give yourself grace, some times are going to be harder than others. Keep going!

slippery_salad

Date posted: 3d

The fact that it is incessant proves that it is OCD. When you say maybe, maybe not, thats you becoming fully okay with either outcome, yet not acting on it. It bothers you so much because you most likely have conservative values or at least you value intimacy with the opposite sex. Your family probably doesnt approve of that lifestyle hence why its so important for you to figure out. The key? Dont try and figure it out, just let it be the way it is. Each thought comes in, you say maybe or maybe not without adding any meaning to it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

Gotcha, but one according to my therapist, it should only last 30 minutes, if not I'm doing something wrong and it two, my therapist told me that stuff not figure it out, but also I somehow need to train myself to know that feelings and thoughts don't have to mean anything and to not give it meaning or judgement, but that feels impossible when it feels very real and feels like it's giving me an answer

slippery_salad

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous Your therapist is wrong that it should only last 30 seconds. Either you misunderstood them or they are misguiding you. When you get the constant nagging of a sticky thought, you will constantly feel distress until you become okay with not knowing

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3d

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

Does it feel more like a statement? Like you aren't allowed to live with uncertainty but forced to accept it?

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

I find that the more fully I can face the fear & "Allow the alarm bells to go off" " Allow the urgent feeling" & sit with it the better the exposure is...and wait for my Intensity to go down by half & then redirect my attention to something else (while not trying to feel better)...but not engaging in compulsions....easier said done, but trains the brain that you aren't actually in danger...

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

Oh ok so like when the feelings are very intense you sit with it and observe it, but when it goes down by half than you redirect your attention. Also what quotes do you say to yourself?

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous - I actually remind myself..."Fully Face the Fear" "Allow the alarm bells to go off" " Allow the urgency"...Almost like allowing my nervous system to Fully Face it... then I track what intensity level I am at....like 8...7/8...6...5/6...4...Then its like my brain realizes I am actually okay ...I say things that resonate with me in that moment...not in compulsion, but like my brain is learning something new that I am naming....like "This is not my identity" " I am human & actually dont have to be perfect"...

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

I also remind myself " Move on without making myself feel better"...I also try to acknowledge what's present...painful discomfort in my body...ect..

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

@Kalidescope gotcha, but it's hard because it feels so intensely real, like it has meaning, and when I try those things it's like letting your thoughts win, like accepting it as true

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous I get that...OCD sucks so much!

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

But what if it wasn't letting the thoughts win so much as ....sitting with the fear of the thoughts

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

@Kalidescope So basically, what I need to do for now on is literally do nothing to it, let it feel real, let it feel convincing, let it be here with you throughout the day, however let it be there like a headache, but do your own thing, don't engage with it at all, and yes I will be hyperfocus on it, can't control, however, let that happen as well, but say"maybe these feelings and thoughts mean somethijg, maybe the don't, I'm letting it be now"

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous Well said!!!!

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous Its like they loose a grip on defining your identity & you are able to get back focused on what you truly value...like okay....hear me out... What if you have simply trained your brain that this is really important and you need to pay attention to it...but what if you actually dont...and lessening the attention was saying okay scary thing I have been obsessed/compulsing about...I am going to face you...you are a shadow...do your worse...you are the bogie man & I am going to get on with living...

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous One of the ocd therapists on this app has tinnitus and parallels to ocd

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous You've got this!!!! It is SO freaking empowering to me when I actually face the thing (and for me as a Christian believe Gods got me)

Kalidescope

Date posted: 3d

https://api.treatmyocd.com/link/post/2321343

Squishyseasp...

Date posted: 23w

Idk if therapy can help me.

Whenever I have a non flirtatious, friendly interaction with a male my brain accuses me of cheating. I go into a full panic attack until I tell my husband then it goes away Same thing with intrusive thoughts. I'll have a random sexual thought about someone and my brain tells me that since I thought that it must be what I wanted and accuses me of cheating. Sometimes these thoughts come with actually physical feelings of what intruded. Thoughts of "what would it be like .." but I stop myself and then freak the flip out. With erp am I just supposed to let the sexual thoughts or accusations play out in my head?! It's excruciatingly painful. Also if I sit there and give into a sexual thoughts paired with the "mood" feelings how is that not mentally cheating 😵‍💫

Luke_McElwee

Date posted: 22w

Losing my shit, freaking out

Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.

Looping

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

ERP/Therapy

I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.

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