Andrea geist
- Date posted
- 5y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I can totally relate to this iv been in the same loop for the last 5 months it’s awful but it does pass
Andrea geistAndrea geist
- Date posted
- 5y
I just really hope this is not real... Honestly I don't know anything right now. I don't know if I love my husband I just know it is really destroying me, I feel horrible and guilty and destroyed. Some people would think it's kind of stupid but it's touching a very important part of my life. I wish we all get better :( because I don't know how long I will resist.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Typical rocd at work iv been the same the more we fight it the worse it seems to come but it will pass ocd attacks what we value the most
Andrea geistAndrea geist
- Date posted
- 5y
That's very true. How can this just specifically attack what is more important for us?, I don't know if this is happening to me because I feel just extremely admiration towards my husband and I think it would be stupid just let him go when he is so different or because I really love him. Now I wonder if I love him or if I just admire him. It's so difficult to live in this constant confusion. And the things are getting worse because I permanently have those suicidal thoughts. Have you overcome your obsessions?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I have overcome it once before at the beginning of the year I didn’t even know what ocd was to be honest then was ok for about 6 months and after a lot of stress it triggered off again I just woke up around 3.30 in the middle of the night sweating loads of anxiety and thoughts I don’t want to be with my partner anymore etc I didn’t eat for 2 weeks that was around June the 1st then middle of October I started to feel a lot better kept getting little bits of the thoughts but wasn’t bothering me much but forgot to take my medication for about a week and it’s kicked in again the last few weeks I went through all the suicidal thoughts and urges I actually put the belt round my neck but thankfully couldn’t bring myself to do it in that moment I sort of realised I must actually lover her or would I get so stressed about not loving her that I’d give my own life up just so I didn’t hurt or etc it’s a long hard bumpy road of recovery but it’s within us to take the challenge and win if u want to be with ur partner that’s your choice not ocd’s choice I get moments of clarity and feel the love I know I have for her and it’s amazing I read love is a choice I didn’t believe it at the start now I do I choose to love my partner and be with her and if I have to suffer these terrible thoughts and anxiety to be with her then it’s worth it because she is amazing
Andrea geistAndrea geist
- Date posted
- 5y
That's pretty beautiful. And it happens the same to me, sometimes I have these clarity moments and I feel in love and full but then when I tell him I love him the ideas start coming around and asking me why do I think I love him? And maybe it's not real and then I start asking him if I love him, how he knows that I do it and make him repeat a serie of things to feel quiet :(. Sometimes I feel the same than you, that if I consider the suicide just because I don't resist the idea of not loving him or even for a second hurting him, then there is probably some strong feeling towards him. This year I tried to commit suicide, and that was pretty heavy experience because I took an excessively amount of pills, apparently I almost died, I can't even remember what happened... But I did it because this obsession and another one ( I have intrusive memories of my ex boyfriend, that are pretty recurrent, even when I know that my ex boyfriend is nothing in my life but my crazy mind thinks this means there is a secret feeling towards my ex that I haven't realized :()...so many shit in the same brain. By the way, in my case the ideas appeared in the moment we got married.
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