I was originally diagnosed with OCD in 2000, But I never really got treatment or read into it, I always just focused on that I had depression or anxiety, until this year. I have been with an amazing man for five years. He is understanding, patient, and caring and has always done his best to try and be there for me even when I am in the middle of meltdowns etc. Even when I was pushing him away or being verbally terrible :( but since our 5 year anniversary that passed this last August my ROCD and cheating ocd have completely taken over my brain. It is ruining my relationship and it took him and I almost breaking up to finally realize and see it. He had started lying alot to me during the last few months mainly because when he would try to talk to me or tell me the truth I would react poorly and make him feel bad for simple things like one of his guy friends coming to dinner or wanting to go to a car race etc with friends. So he started omitting the truth to things I'd accept and not make him feel horrible for. Which led to him lying for two weeks straight and going skydiving with a female friend (who is married her husband and mother were there when they went filming it) and it like verified my ocd thoughts to me completely. Which lead me to scouring every possible comment, like, reaction on social media accounts. Wanting to know exactly when he's active online, what hes doing, with who, how long, if he didnt respond to texts or calls fast enough it would tell me hes probably lying or with her. The way my ocd basically is where I feel hes going to cheat or leave me constantly, I am very insecure of female friends even when my brain logically knows he has been loyal and faithful and I shouldn't even have a thing to worry about. Bit because of my actions and words he has stopped wearing our promise ring, and it has made him question us because he feels he can't keep me happy anymore. I want it to stop. I want my brain to stop doing this to me. I want it to stop misfiring telling me the horrible things it does. I want to stop feeling like i have to check and re check everything go back through messages photos pictures comments any possible thing. I went as far as to finding tons of things to fill in puzzle pieces to verify that he must be having at least an emotional affair if not physical and it's ruining everything. I did not tell him i think that or looked for things to validate that. In the past I openly told him every negative thought or feeling I had or asked things specifically if I had the bad thoughts or asking if he wanted to be with me etc. We live a few hoirs apart and now he doesn't want to come for Thanksgiving and doesn't know if he wants to spend time with me the weekend following either. :( My mental illness is ruining the best relationship I've ever had, my happily ever after.