Need help with my son who has OCD

Hello, I’m a mother. My son is 17 and he has contamination OCD. We have been trying different ways to support him but he refused to see any therapist. He is struggling with paranoia and intrusive thoughts. Those thoughts make him so angry that he get yelly, throwing and breaking some furniture, and just yesterday he put a hole in the wall. He admitted that these didn’t help him feel any better, in fact it made him feel worse (because he didn’t want to act as such). We are doing our best to support him, talking with him but he refused to talk about those intrusive thoughts and paranoia. What do you suggest me to do? What would be helpful for me to do so he can talk with me more? We desperately want him to get help but he wouldn’t. Thank you in advance!

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I would see if he is will to try to treat ocd at home. I would recommend ERP (exposure response) and learning the ocd cycle. There are a lot of free resources out there. Those two basic concepts of ocd helped me a lot. I know treating ocd is can make people embarrassed and frustrated but if he does not treat it , it will just it worse over time and could really ruin his life. I hope he is willing to try treating ocd even if it is by himself at home. Him learning others have these some thoughts and that is super common in ocd may help him start to feel more comfortable to talk to someone about them. Wish him the best.

Sewardas

Date posted: 2d

Thank you so much for replying. How and where do you go (online) to treat it at home?

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

@Sewardas I would look up or watch a YouTube video about the ocd cycle then watch I video about exposure response. I would also look up free articles about ERP or exposure exposure. ERP is a hard skill to learn but when you do it will someone with ocd a lot.

Sendit360!

Date posted: 2d

I don’t have advice but this is relatable

HeartMama

Date posted: 2d

I struggle with contamination OCD, and its tough. Do you have any idea what type of contamination in particular he worries about or what compulsions he may be doing to bring down the level of anxiety? I would approach it in a non labeling and non judgemental way, what things have you tried to support him? OCD is very misunderstood by others and it can feel like people are dismissing your deepest fears. I know one thing I struggle with in particular is well meaning people saying things like just stop worryIng or I wish you could just snap out of it. OCD is irrational, I can know that the thing I fear most will never happen, but it is so hard to let go of the compulsions in spite of that understanding. I would also stay away from labeling it as paranoia or ocd with him as it will probably push him farther away. Is it something g you would be willing to seek therapy for yourself to help come up with ideas?

Sewardas

Date posted: 2d

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. We try space therapy for my husband and me to help him. We support him in his hobbies and we remind him daily that he is safe, we are here for him, he can seek help whenever he wants. The space treatment is somewhat helpful. The hardest part is getting him to share about the fears and paranoia. When he broke things, he didn’t feel any better. He said it made him feel worse and more angry. So after he broke stuff, he and I find materials and way to mend it together. I know that if he can’t share these thoughts, it will consume him and he gets to the break out point. I need to sit with him and just try my best to get him talk.

HeartMama

Date posted: 2d

I agree with Brookie Cookie, there are great resources out there, and ocd has some specific therapies that work best. I was thinking if ita feasible though, you may try going through some ERP with a counselor if you can track some of his triggers. Space is okay, but it leaves him alone with the awful thoughts. You mentioned contamination, does he get frustrated when he touches something or is near something that is dirty or perceived as dirty? If you are able to start with some obvious fears and help with actual response prevention, maybe at some point he will be more willing to discuss them.

Cayla Davis

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

AMA for Parents: Supporting a child with OCD while managing my own—Ask me anything!

Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

I am the mother of an adult child with ocd.

Overwhelmed

PBubblegum

Date posted: 16w

My partner has severe OCD

Hello i got this app hoping to maybe find some support for my partner i thought about reddit but reddit has become a hateful place and i figured this is a safe place. i love my partner more than anything and he’s been struggling with OCD his whole life he has a hard time talking about it with anyone because it’s too painful he’s stated that it’s gotten worse as he’s gotten older His biggest issue right now is overwhelming thoughts of his actions having tragic outcomes and being unable to stop these obsessive thoughts (such as needing to check out door handle 5 times to make sure it’s locked but still panicking that it’s unlocked) he’s not open to one on one therapy or meds although he loves learning and watching informative videos i fear he’s afraid to confront his OCD or just afraid nothing will help i really wanna help him live a stress free and happy life he deserves it would anyone possibly have any ways to naturally help with OCD or recommend any great individuals that could share techniques on managing OCD or helping your partner with OCD? i would very much appreciate it!

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Need help with my son who has OCD

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