I CAN'T STOP THOUGHTS. I think about meaning of life, time, afterlife and other shit. I can't stop thinking. I cannot distract myself. When my thoughts are the worst I'm thinking about su*cide, and it scares me because I'm not suicidal and I don't want to die. But what if I do something with myself? Please I want any advice what to do, I can't afford therapy at the moment
Hi, I just had a terrible episode last night of exactly how youre feeling and it turned into a full panic attack. Its so much easier said than done but in my therapy they teach being in the moment. How are you feeling right here right now and this may sound crazy but deep breaths and repeating anything can happen helped me a ton. Pur problem is letting go of control once you learn to accept the unknown you get a lot of power back. Maybe find ways that the afterlife is beautiful and definetly journal about it releasing it on paper helps so much too. I really hope youre ok and I hope this helps a little
You can tell yourself that the thoughts aren’t something you’re going to do or act on. As for the fear of death I had those at one point too. The way I dealt with it is I distracted myself and did not resolve the thoughts I just let them sit there. The response preventions work too, maybe you will maybe you won’t. I am not a therapist though so I am sure everyone is different, I hope this helps though.
I have felt exactly how you feel. Occasionally, I still do. Try to accept them Or at least acknowledge that they are there. Trying to run away from them or force them out of your head will not work. I say to self, self I am having a negative thought. That does NOT mean I will act on it, I will acknowledge the thoughts and is here, and I will invite it to tag along with me while I sweep the kitchen, pet my cat, swap out laundry, finish my spreadsheet’. Get out a journal, write down your bad thoughts. You can leave it open. Even if you aren’t feeling it, take the part of you that wants to run away from those thoughts, imagine you are turning around at them and say. I see you, I acknowledge you, I’m not gonna fight you anymore. Then, find a fun game to play with them. I invited them to play the boggle on my app with me. After a couple of games, I go back to journaling. Mix it up. You don’t have to feel okay to be okay.
i’m in the SAME boat. it sucks so much, i hope you get better
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
I’m an ICU nurse and I’m so close to quitting my job. My existential OCD is so bad. Like I said I’m an ICU nurse and take care of my Alzheimer’s grandma full time, she lives with me. I really can’t afford to go to treatment but I think I might have to go inpatient . My existential ocd is so so bad that it is telling me life is meaningless. It’s not even a question. I’ve lost all insight as I truly believe this to be true. I’m too logical for religion. I’m a double science major. Please. If anyone could help me. I’m struggling so bad. Is this existential ocd even tho I’m convinced life is meaningless? Why are we here? And for what? Please help me. My grandma needs md and I feel like I might need to leave
I keep thinking about life and death and all that stuff and it’s making me so upset. I keep thinking about how one day im probably going to be old and on my death bed or something and my whole life will be nothing but a memory and im so scared for that day. i wont have my parents and my younger siblings wont have any of us. time feels like its moving too fast like i feel every second pass and think about how i can never get that moment back and i cant slow down time or go back or even just pause it because its always going and theres nothing i can do about it. And then i start thinking about whats after death and get even more scared because if heaven is real then what is eternity? wont i get bored of doing the same things… forever? and if its not real then what happens is it just nothing? because thats even more scary i don’t want to be nothing because that also means the people i love will be nothing and i wont be able to be with them. And if it’s not that then is it reincarnation? will i have to do this all over again? will the souls of the people i love be with me in their new forms? is the sun “God” because the planets revolve around it and the stars are all of the passed souls? what does it feel like to be a star? will i even just know i died? i have so many questions and the fact that none have an answer and i just have to wait to find out drives me insane. i try to remind myself everyone before me and everyone after me will experience death and loss at one point in their life and that I’m not alone but it doesn’t help. nothing helps. ive had “episodes” like this before when i was around 10-14 about once a year always around May-June which is the month my great grandmother died and June is my birth month which i hate because yk… time passing and aging which i assume is why i always get worse around that time. i was able to kind of ignore or turn it off the past like 3 years but this month its just too much i cant even deal with it. maybe because I’m turning 18? idk but its been bothering me so much and its all i can think about. Even when i seem fine the thoughts are always in there somewhere and some days they’re easier to ignore and others it feels impossible. I just wish I was like those people who can just turn their thoughts off if they don’t like them. My mom says she can do that if she thinks about how her mom died or something she can tell herself she doesn’t want to think about that and just… turn it off?? and thats so shocking to me because i’ve begged a god I don’t even know if I believe in to stop my thoughts and she can just turn them off herself? I don’t have another therapy appointment until next week I wish I could talk to them everyday so it could work faster but instead i’m on here. So if anyone has any advice PLEASE give it to me. I’m so tired it’s making me not enjoy anything in life because it makes me feel like theres no point in anything but I want to feel normal and I want to enjoy things. Sorry for writing so much just had to get this out there. Also i’m not trying to seek reassurance btw I just wanna know how other people coped with this or similar issues😭
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