I feel like legit everything I do revolves around an ocd theme. So I feel like a lost cause because I’m so obsessive. I don’t even know what it would be like to have free flowing thoughts, not have (literally), every ocd theme, not to feel anxious, not to search for worry or feel jealous or paranoid, no counting. This disorder truly sucks. I also wonder how long it would take for me to succeed with ERP therapy if I did it.
There is no time frame, OCD takes as long as it needs to “get better” as it is chronic. I know at times it feels hopeless but there are brighter days ahead. Meds, ERP, and some lifestyle changes have been doing wonders for me at least. Take it one step at a time and know that everyone’s brain is different.
@buddyck12 So there’s hope for me even with severe ocd? And medication hasn’t really worked for me. I get horrific side effects from them
@KAW1007 Yes there’s always hope! I’ve been dealing with this for nearly 18 years and I’ve had my ups and downs, but it does get better. I recommend meeting with a psychiatrist if you want to get meds another shot because they typically have the insight with both mental illness and how each med work with your brain.
@KAW1007 ERP is a game changer, but remember a lot of the work has to come from you.
I experience the same severity, and I just hope treatment leads to better management of my issues. For me personally, I am skeptical that I’ll ever be “free” of the intrusions, but I’ll be satisfied as long as I can learn to handle them better. I think the only way you or I or anyone could be a lost cause is if we give up on ourselves. We don’t know where treatment will take us, but if we persist, there is hope. If we give in, the symptoms will only worsen. OCD isn’t curable, but it is treatable. It’s quite daunting. But we underestimate ourselves if we think we aren’t capable of it.
Your skepticism is warranted, as the disease can return at any moment for any reason at all. This is why it's vital to keep using the same things we learn against it.
I suffer from an extreme debilitating form. Imagine the most nightmarish suffering, I'm going through it. Nothing worked for it except my own efforts. I successfully overcame my Pure O, which was the biggest nightmare I had experienced at the time. In that way it did get better. And for a long time, I was able to function well. I felt fine. But as is the nature of the disease, it will return. It wants to control you until you're dying. I am suffering once again. Every time it feels worse than the last. Every time that happens it means you've made progress. Every new cliff is proof of the mountain you've already climbed. It wants to stay alive and control you. You must keep fighting it. It will get better.
@Guest1488484 Best wishes to you. I feel the same way. 🏔️
I hope so or I’m doomed
I’ve been dealing with ocd my whole life, and just got diagnosed about a year ago. I feel my days becoming occupied with thoughts, urges, fears and worry that completely debilitate me. It’s getting to the point where i feel like it’s taking over my life. I don’t see this getting any better, even with the therapy and medication I’m on. I’m scared my life will be like this forever, I’m tired. My brain is tired of ruminating every second of every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
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