So I said I'd post my story and here she blows lol. Ohhh God, this again. It started a while ago, after I learned to overcome my hocd. It was an arduous experience but well worth it. However I still experienced spikes and much weirder they were all over the place. It felt like my ocd had nothing to latch on to so now it was going after everything. I hated these but got over it. I also started to experience dissociative symptoms. Feeling "less like myself", disconnected from my identity. I often referred to it as feeling like you'd pulled a plug out of a wall, and I was the plug. I often felt hungover, but never consumed drugs or alcohol. More than weird. I would experience this then my intrusive thoughts would increase. Compulsions idk about, but a large amount of intrusive thoughts. It sucked each time and I often felt like I would never get better or go insane. A lot of the thoughts focused on things I cared about. My gender identity, sexuality, and my future relationship with my boyfriend. It was a lot. It only got worse after a friend of mine who had ocd to and understood ocd, rationalized his ocd and believe it. He would say that he was brainwashing himself and that he was not trans. This hit me too since when he told me I was experiencing these dissociation/ocd symptoms. I kinda was able to move forward but ever since Then it's been a recurring issue that my ocd would make me constantly doubt myself even though I knew who I was. It give me anxiety over this I've never had anxiety for before and welcomed. Things that I loved. I'll get further into detail Later but I'm trying to get better

Thank God I thought I was alone in this and it feels good and bad to know I'm not (good because I'm not alone and bad because other people experience this crap and keep wish it wasn't the case). No he was trans before hand but he rationalized his ocd that made him believe he was no longer

@Sam212 OCD can trick us to believe the exact opposite of what we want ?? but yes! It feels nice knowing you are not alone with the experiences :) makes you feel like a "rare case". Try not too overthink the dissociation sensations though. Just know it is simply a byproduct of intense anxiety. Your body is litterally just trying to protect itself and this is its way of doing so. Goodluck :)

@NocturnalGyal Feel less like a "rare case" ***

@NocturnalGyal I hate it so much honestly because it makes you anxious about everything. IDK if this happens to you but I've found that I've gotten anxious about things I do want. Then it goes "why are you anxious, huh? ", and it feels like there are just spikes.

@Sam212 Yup. That's me right now. It doesn't make any damn sense. I get anxious thinking about a future with my bf now or thinking about a future with men in general. ?? When before, I had anxiety thinking about being with a woman for my life and being attracted to them. The anxiety has now done a full 360. I only want men. But at this point, idk what I want because the OCD has screwed up my sense of "self" so much ?

@NocturnalGyal I'm thinking, I want to get down to the end of it and get though this

Homosexual ocd

@Sam212 Omg sameee I have that

@Peridottttt Yeah! It's hard but doing erp is well worth it

@Sam212 Did you ever felt protective when you had hocd? For example, I saw this girl and I was all focused on her and I always thought I was attracted to her and others days I don’t. It wa confusing, and I tested myself to see if I was lesbian by asking this question “ would you be jealous if she liked another girl? “ I went panicked mode. I didn’t want her but I didn’t want her to like another girl. This makes me sound very lesbian and someone told me I was being protective. But this is probably a rare case in hocd, I feel like a lesbian. Does anyone have a case like me?

@Peridottttt I won't answer to give you reassurance, but I will say You aren't alone in how you feel and your case isn't rare. For me, I experience a lot of the testing and over attending you do

@Sam212 I just wanna know if I was the only one experiencing that part of hocd

@Peridottttt No not at all, your not the only one

@Sam212 Thank you ?