Thoughts on neurodivergent communities?

I think we have to separate our OCD from our personality in order to treat it properly, yet at the same time some people say it's neurodivergent. And thats more accepting view, like when people say autism is just a different way of looking at things. But OCD makes you miserable so how can it be part of neurodivergent?

so. oh lord. half my ocd symptoms could be autism. (not that im looking for a triple diagnosis including adhd, its just interesting to explore) this little ol rabbit hole started with my friend, who happens to be autistic and passionate about how their own condition works, when they started slowly easing the convo into an autism screening and by the time i realized what he was doing it was “oh my god ur kinda right i might be wrong for denying all this time that i could have autism” always thought my experience with texture/sensory as a toddler (and now) was ocd, because thats mainly what made adults call me ocd, more blatant ocd signs aside (such as touching things “just right”, ordering items etc) wondered why i was like that when theres not even a *direct* link between ocd and sensory issues (not the same as somatic ocd) thought i just happen to be an extremely sensitive person since i was born, now realizing that couldve been a sign of autism, along side many more “quirks” ive always had anyone with autism and ocd that can tell me what their experience is like? what about when u were children? especially if u snuck under the radar until u were older, my parents have said only a few times in the moment that i remind them of an autistic kid but dont think i have it

I wanna start out by saying, I am really proud of how far I've come in recognizing my OCD tendencies and learned about how it can show up intersectionally for BIPOC folks who have racialized trauma and how me, being a White person, how it manifests itself for me. I'd also like to say, this is gonna be more of an analytical and reflective post. Please feel free to read and respond with any critiques or thoughts you have. I'm embarrassed about it nowadays, but it's important to acknowledge because it was a HUGE part of my teenage personality, unfortunately. I used to be a HUGE Shane Dawson fan 😭 like, his content was my strongest hyperfixation to date. So at this point in time, I feel like I'm still trying to decipher what kind of racial commentary and satire and jokes are genuinely funny and which are just perpetuating stereotypes and straight up minstrelsy. Shout out to D'Angelo Wallace for making the video essay that woke me up to seeing this issue more clearly. I try to be aware of how I can easily fall into just laughing at racial stereotypes without being aware of the serious consequences it has for BIPOC people, but at the same time, I don't want to be too worried about everything being racist and therefore that means it's bad and should be banned, cause that's also not always helpful, I've noticed. So racialized fear and polarization is something I'm deconstructing. I hate to admit this, too, 'cause it's embarrassing, but my OCD seems to latch onto racial issues. I end up obsessing about whether or not I'm causing marginalized people harm or not, particularly when it comes to racism. I believe this is because I know I was one of those White kids who was into "edgy" humor when I was a teen. I think it's just lingering guilt from knowing that was wrong, but OCD makes my guilt and rumination and therefore compulsions to "fix" it so much worse than most people. It's frustrating, but I have come a very long way in confronting and dealing with it. I'm very proud of myself for being aware that that's an issue I have. I've got to give credit where credit is due, to my biracial friend (who also happens to have OCD) for essentially helping me learn this, albeit the hard way with many arguments about racism and trauma. It's something that isn't talked about much, but we're learning to build bridges in our understanding of how mental health affects us as people with different forms of racialized trauma. Mine's not so much trauma, but social stigma, whereas his was from actual bullying and harassment and physical assault, simply because of his race. I've also learned how to recognize and deal with my own mental health issues WHILE confronting race because of Black advocates like Tony Nabors who does Racial Equity Insights, F.D. Signifier who does really great intersectional analyses on social issues pertaining to Black people, and D'Angelo Wallace for being the first Black YouTuber that made the problem with Shane Dawson video that finally helped me break out of my lowkey toxic parasocial/trauma bond relationship I had with him, lol. Does this post seem too wordy and analytical for this forum? Let me know if this isn't the right audience for this type of writing and reflection. I just wanted to talk about it because it's something I had to figure out largely on my own. Wondering if anyone else relates to this or can see themselves in this.