crko

Date posted: 12w

What do you do when feelings get overwhelming?

This is my first time posting on here, and it’s sorta a general question. I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself when my emotions take over from a thought. I know the basics of ERP work is to sit with your feelings, label it and let your thoughts pass, but even when I try to indulge in good distractions and avoid the thought, the feeling still lingers and I can’t help but vent to my partner about it. I can see it’s affecting him and our relationship. I’ve tried journaling, going out for a run, breathing exercises, labeling my thoughts and feelings, but I’m still left restless and unable to sleep because my frustrations and anxieties get too strong. I listened to a recent podcast on reassurance seeking, and she says that a study shows that venting has ZERO benefits. The host says she journals or records herself venting to avoid “bottling it up” and she acknowledges that others may also be going through their own things. I want to be able to ride the wave on my own and practice these tools in the process, but does anyone else have any advice that helps them? TLDR: My feelings get too strong and leaves me restless. I’m seeking advice on what other strategies I can use to cope with my emotions on my own, besides journaling, going for a run, breathing exercises and labeling my thoughts/feelings.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Listening to emotional music helps me for some reason. I think it helps me to feel okay feeling strong emotions if I'm hearing someone do the same. Most powerfully, sometimes I have to just have a hard cry and mourn the loss of certainty or not being able to run from or fix things. Usually if I get to this point I know I'll be back at baseline soon.

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous I resonate with this too. I like going out for drives and listening to music, unlike other people. It’s therapeutic to me, but it’s dangerous to do so late at night when my mind’s most active. I’ll give listening to just music a try, though, and see whether music helps calm me down. Thank you! As for having a good cry session, I’m not sure what it is but I can’t seem to cry on my own as easily anymore. I used to be able to cry in my own space and get to baseline after, but now, I feel like I need to talk to someone in order to let it out. I just don’t want to burden people anymore is all.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

@crko Have you tried the driving thing as a routine when it's not dark/ you're not overwhelmed? Like daily before it's too dark as a time for you to feel your feelings? I listen to emotional music as practice when I'm not obsessing/compulsing or ERPing to get used to feelings when it's less scary. Ive recently started doing it with scary movies too. I didn't like scary movies before but it's helping to practice being okay with feeling fear without real world triggers. I also wanted to check if you have / recommend having a therapist for when you do ERP. Your fear response reactions sounds very intense and doing erp with a professional might be needed. Doing it alone before you know how to sit with extreme discomfort or deescalate yourself is a little risky. If erp therapy is too much rn, one thing that helped me is doing trauma therapy first. I did IFS for like half a year first. It slowly walked me through the "sit in distress part" and only after establishing ways to get me to baseline if too intense. I also have medication as backup to get to baseline but I haven't had to use it in awhile. It's okay to take things slow. If any type of therapy is too much maybe try to find some books/ audiobooks. Books along the "loving parent" and "emotional intelligence"/"non violent communication" themes gave me a foundation on how to treat myself/ emotions before starting therapy. I listened to a lot of psychology books and it made all of this easier.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

I find using uncertainty statements to avoid responding to intrusive thoughts to be really helpful, such as “I may not ever know for sure that ____”. I then focus on where I feel that anxiety in my body and not try to investigate the content of the intrusive thoughts but let them exist without trying to control them. If my brain keeps throwing worried thoughts at me I’ll use another uncertainty statement. If I’m fully spiraling I’ll set a 5 minute timer to focus on the response prevention. Also I find planned exposures to be really helpful at lessening the intensity of incidental ones. You can have AI write you stories to read that relate to your fears and then practice sitting with that uncertainty. A huge part of ERP being effective is training your brain to not care about proving or disproving the thoughts, trying to avoid the thoughts will just signal to your brain that the thought is worthy of the fear and needs to be avoided. I can send you some uncertainty statements that my therapist gave me but one of my favorites is “I can ride this wave without trying to control it”

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous Very well said, and I love everything you said! I’ve been working on uncertainty statements with my therapist as well, but I just have a hard time accepting uncertainty. I practice these statements to myself, but it gives me more anxiety and so it’s a vicious loop. I don’t think my brain will ever not care about proving or disproving my thoughts because it’s too nosy lol. I still would like the list of statements your therapist gave you! I have huge rocd, and I have a tendency to seek reassurance from my partner and ask if what I’m thinking is valid or true. I want his honest answer, but I’m also terrified if it’s not what I want to hear. Everything feels amplified to me because I was recently diagnosed with GAD too haha

Anonymous3914

Date posted: 12w

I think you should record yourself having a conversation with yourself about whatever OCD situation you’re going through and I would make the other person you’re venting to (i.e. yourself ) to only speak of the logical solution or truth to your situation or anxiety. And then when your anxiety picks up again, I would play that recording for yourself having that conversation so you don’t have to go through it again in your head and listen to the recording like a podcast, Until your feelings start to subside a little. I know that sounds weird, but since you’ve tried everything else that would be normally recommended might have to try something different.

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous3914 Thank you for your response! I might just try that, but how might that sound on the recording? Am I venting it out of my system first before I talk about the logical solution or truth? I just don’t want to look crazy having a full-blown venting session with myself and then giving myself solutions afterwards all on record

Anonymous3914

Date posted: 12w

Unfortunately, it is gonna look a little crazy and you’re probably gonna feel a little weird, but you have to remember. This is only for you and only a private recording to help you get better. No one is going to see it unless you show them. Yes, you would discuss the whole situation first and how you feel about it and then you would talk to yourself out loud about the logical reasons why this is wrong or untruthful. I’m not entirely sure what kind of OCD you are dealing with but if you can try to talk to yourself about what makes you a good person. That might help as well with it being on a recording.

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous3914 That makes sense. I’ll probably have to take this to the car then haha. I have relationship and checking ocd and the symptoms that come up are ruminating and mentally reviewing for me. I have a difficult time snapping myself out of my own thoughts. It spirals, so I’m afraid that as I’m recounting my experience or situation, I’ll be giving into my compulsions at some point.

Winter storm

Date posted: 12w

You know those like scratchy books where you scratch the picture and the black paint stuff comes off and reveals colors and it’s a nice picture ? They’re called like scratch sketch books or something and honestly those help me a lot

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Winter2213 oh! that’s really cute haha I know exactly what you’re talking about because my brother has low functioning ASD and his therapist used that as a tool for him at one point! I feel like for me, I need to punch a bag or break something to relieve my anger or frustrations.

Winter storm

Date posted: 12w

@crko That’s funny my brother does too! And hey maybe you should get some boxing gloves then! Lol

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Winter2213 woah that’s crazy. Are you older or younger than him? I’m older! I do have boxing gloves cus I used to do kickboxing and muay thai, but I kinda stopped doing it. I should do a light sparring session with my partner again when I feel I need to let it out!

Winter storm

Date posted: 12w

@crko I’m older! Lol 10 years on the one and 13 on the other brother. And on that’s awesome I have some gloves cause the youngest brother does boxing stuff

crko

Date posted: 12w

@Winter2213 omg that’s even crazier cus my brother and i also have around a 10 yr difference too! it’s just me and my bro, no other siblings 🥲

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

How to be alone with your thoughts besides ERP?

Hi - just for some context, I have OCD and ADHD. I hate bringing this up, but with these diagnoses, when intertwined, there is ALWAYS a thought. I never stop thinking. This is really hard, especially because I feel like I always need to be talking to someone. Whether it’s my friends or family, talking to people brings me down to earth from certain kinds of thought spirals. However, when I’m alone it is the hardest. When my friends don’t reply I have this compulsion to text again or I need to constantly check my notifications so that I have none left to check. But then to them or new people I talk to, this behavior probably comes across as overwhelming or too much. I’m trying to control it and use erp, but also, I have my moments where I’m just vunerable and give into the compulsion. It’s genuinely so embarassing and maybe not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be but, how do I manage? And how do I relax?

apeterpiper

Date posted: 18w

Sitting w/ uncertainty and your thoughts..then ?

Hello everyone! I’m starting to recognize when my thoughts begin to spiral, when i’m seeking reassurance or checking. But I still have the sense of uneasiness and anxiety. I was wondering what others do that allow them to move forward with their day when they realize this? I don’t know if I’m making sense, but what are ways you pull the focus back to the present and yourself? Like besides saying “maybe or maybe not”, more like what do you do with yourself after you recognize the thoughts? I feel like I’m at a “now what?” and don’t know what to do with my anxious energy. I’m trying to find something physical to help me so if you also have any hobbies or interests that help I would love to hear it.

Anonymous 25#

Date posted: 13w

Anyone?

Hey everyone it’s been a while since I posted on here. Honestly, I try to stay off of this app unless I really need advice because I find it triggering at times. But right now I’m feeling pretty down and just would like some hopeful and helpful advice. Has anyone ever felt like they’re just not capable of getting out of this? Has anyone ever felt like ERP therapy isn’t working or that they just can’t get it’s a click? . I’ve been in ERP therapy for over a year just about a year and a half actually and I literally feel so stagnant and stuck still. I show up every week I do my exposures, but my body is in such a chronic fight or fight all the time that it feels almost impossible to apply the tools. I’m super sensitive to begin with and I feel things very deeply and because of that it feels like I’m not gonna be able to ever change. It feels like no matter what I do or experience I’m just gonna always feel it so deeply and it’s gonna just rattle me all of the time. I’m honestly so frustrated. I’m tired and I’m overwhelmed. I so badly wanna change these patterns that I have and grow and be out of this OCD spiral, but everything just feels impossible. I’m just wondering if I’m alone here?? Has anyone ever felt this way? Has ERP taken a long time for anyone else or am I the only one that just can’t get my brain to click with it? Any encouraging and helpful words would be greatly appreciated thank you 🙏

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