So just need to vent... five weeks I have shut myself off from the world, existed only for my children, cut people off the phone, don’t want to see my partner, only left the house for medical apps! Panic attack that’s lasted over a week and now have diazepam off the doc, on top of my other various meds, just to help with the panic symptoms as I am exhausted physically too, been down before and ocd is always worse, always manage to pick up I just can’t seem to this time! I really don’t feel bothered, can’t be bothered speaking to anyone or have the strength to even try explain, just started inter personal therapy so hoping that can bring some relief! Even tho it’s a massive undertaking just to get myself there, and to smile for the kids and act normal is exhausting!! Fed up of people asking what’s up and oh well when your better ... I just want to say leave me alone and I’ll let you know when I feel better! Know that’s rude but first time I have ever shut off and just want to think of my own thoughts and get myself straight! Am glad I have done it although feel a little guilty! But haven’t missed anyone really! Can’t see me picking up yet at this point and sorry to moan just know u guys understand xxx

You can always come here and vent! Most people in the group can relate in one or another to what you wrote. Hope you’re having a good day/night!

Just reading this vent made ME feel better! For me, getting the rage and annoyance into words and posted somewhere for others to see takes the weight off just a little. Seeing you vent even managed to take weight off my shoulders I didn’t even know I had! I’m happy to hear you are forcing yourself to go to the interpersonal therapy. I know how hard it can be to get yourself out that door, so good for you!! ?? In my opinion, doing something is better than nothing, and therapy is miles away from being considered nothing! Sending positive vibes and extra strength your way! ? P.s In my opinion, taking time for you is 100% acceptable and for me I know it made life just a little easier. Staying in my bubble and using what little energy I had on baby steps towards getting better.

Thankyou so very much for that reply, and glad to hear it’s understood what I wrote and has helped u a little too! Find it’s the only place I can be honest! And that people can relate, the bubble is a good place to be right now, I even called my partner before and the look of surprise and gratitude was priceless! Although had mixed emotions about that too! Guilty for the rejection I have shown and the hurt he must feel, a little glad to see he was smiling and there still and anxious that I still don’t know how I feel about things! Kept the conversation brief so wasn’t to overwhelming! But long enough to explain I was having a calm time and had just wanted to check in but was a long way to go yet! Which he understood! Already anxious about next therapy on thurs but I have a few other apps on same day so lots of rearranging for other things! But all medical related so need to be attended! Haven’t felt the need for the diazepam today so that’s a positive and the breathing has eased a little! Had less drama off my three year old, infact a good evening with very good behaviour which is rare so taken as a god send! We had no raised voices, calm speaking and lots of cuddles! Still baby steps but forward maybe not back! Still feeling like I can’t get out of it, but today has been better in the grand scheme of things! Thanks again for your words of praise and encouragement! Same to you! I know how much we value such things said! Especially by people who understand! Hope your well xxx