It seems every chance someone has to upset me they take it. It is like people don't pike me for some reason. I think I'm pretty good at being polite and holding my temper so I don't know what it is about me that they don't like. Why do they want to pushme?
I don’t think anyone can make this assessment from the short content of the post (the qualitative existence of someone can’t be reduced to a few words nor are we particularly good at assessing and communicating how we come across to others as it’s not particularly accurate if not viewed from the outside, I don’t think). The two things that immediately stand out to me, however, are A. I would not describe my interactions with people who become my friends as “polite.” We usually hit it off because it’s effortlessly authentic and B. People who are my friends are also not the type who would push the buttons of an acquaintance unprompted because I don’t like mean people If someone is trying to upset you, it’s not a good friend opportunity off the rip. You need to either look elsewhere because they’re not nice people or assess if they’re reacting to something. If you’re “holding your temper” a lot, I wonder if they are picking up on that through less direct or gestural cues? Do you need to work on being less angry at the world to present yourself authentically? Can they feel that you’ve put some level of pressure or certain expectations on them without caring if it’s a compatible relationship on their end? People are busy. They need more of an incentive than politeness to want to spend their free time with someone and continuously devote energy to sustaining that relationship. That leads to #2. If you’d characterize your interactions as merely polite—which is particularly sterile, neutral, and unaffected—it’s probably more of an acquaintance situation. Polite isn’t a lot to offer. It’s not anything extra from what we can get literally anywhere else. It doesn’t feel particularly fulfilling because politeness is not a personality trait. It’s a mode of communicating information. People require more to want to be friends with someone. They have to be compatible in passions, humor, ideological outlook, etc. They have to feel compelled to put more energy into the interaction, which politeness doesn’t typically offer.
That is more insight than I was expecting. At 43 I've found myself with no friends when I used to have many. And the various circumstances in which I lost the friends I had have made me very cynical towards people. When I do give more than politeness people are ungrateful or worse they seecit as a weakness. I am weary of it these days.
Thanks fir your response. That was extra effort. Gold star.
@Newerthannewb82 I genuinely hope it helps - Rooting for you!
@chaitea I just have to soldier on. I have a lot more to be happy about than some.
I think it's super common to have no friends in this era we live in. I actually hear a lot from people that they have no friends. I think this just the society we live in. People are disconnected, and all our technology disconnects us. A lot of kids growing up these days have no friends. And a lot of adults will say the same. I hear it a lot. I don't think the problem lies with you. I think the society is like this as a whole. I think if you went back in time 30 years, it would have been no problem to have friends. Remember that you suffering in an intense way that is different than everyone around you. OCD is no joke. It causes suffering that is worse than most things in life. So give yourself grace!!! You are worthy to be loved, even if the people around you are not acting the way that they should. That's their problem. You just need to do the best you can and keep going forward.
I'm on a self defeating downward spiral.
This is because of someone elses weed again. I'm bloody sick of it. What am I supposed to do? Weed is everywhere.
My blood has never boiled this much than before. I genuinely wanna throw hands at someone and just scream. My parents always ignore my feelings and shit and always make me the bad one. I can let my shit out around these motherfuckers. My college plans and basically what I dreamed of is fucking destroyed. Nobody fucking understands the shit I have to deal with. It’s always on me. All the damn time. I fucking hate everyone. And whenever I try to fix myself for the better, surprise surprise, EVERYTHING ALWAYS FUCKS UP Everytime i try to vent, they never respond or never understand or it always turns back on me. My heart is beating so fucking fast. I can never enjoy anything with this shit.
Everyone is frustrating me at work and I’m about to crash out😭!! Maybe it’s how I grew up and have been gaslit a lot but does anyone ever feel like whatever they do they are in the “wrong?” I don’t know …my coworker made me feel like that. What’s wrong to her might not be wrong to me and vise versa. I just wanna scream and throw hands lol. I don’t know if anyone else feels like this. And they wanna have this conversation in front of customers and then I look like the “bad guy” 🙄. So over it. Workplace is toxic asf and I’m trying to find a new job but it seems impossible these days . I feel like I’m not the best at conversations on the spot. That’s why I keep quiet so ion look dumb, but both coworkers came up to me and approach me. I feel like I try and smile and nobody really smiles back. Or when I say thank you and go to places like ulta, all the girls are bitchy. It makes me think am I not smiling enough? Am I doing something wrong? Etc. Maybe it just the people I’m around . I just feel nothing but anger and I’m trying to calm down but I really just wanna go off
Mann this isn't any ocd problems but like I feel like some of my friends just ignores me or like I know they like me but they just don't interact me back and they block me then unblock me and never followed me back am I too annoying for them or am I just this annoying for my whole life I mean I made it my whole persona I do jokes i make them laugh but I feel like its not enough of them I'm already crying can someone comfort me ...
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