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I’m so sorry your faith is being attacked by your ocd. I’m recently getting back into my faith in God too and it’s scary. It feels as though He might take away all the good things in my life because I deserve it, or I need to be punished. But that’s the ocd talking, it’s taking away all my love for my faith but I’ve been praying and going to therapy and I can already see an improvement with my ocd quieting down the more i spend with His word. Every day isn’t perfect, there are days where I don’t pray or read the Bible but I know God is there for me and is waiting for me patiently. And there are still days where I think that I’m not good enough or that God will send me to hell but that’s where I learn from the Bible and can dive deeply into is His word. Spend time on some podcasts, devotions, and some people online that can help you with how to read the Bible. Please forgive me if this reply isn’t helpful. I can pray for you if would like me too!

Sometimes seeking different perspectives can help. I used to think God sent people to hell and my OCD makes me think “what if he sends me to hell?” But my new priest (changed denominations and it’s been so much less judgmental and so much more peaceful) helped me think about how maybe that’s incorrect interpretation and that people choose to go to hell because they reject God and God lovingly and graciously allows those people to choose to live without him (free will). If they didn’t want God then they would not enjoy heaven and it would not be a perfect peaceful place anymore. It helped me see him as gracious and not as judgmental (and also allowed me to lean into him as a loving Father instead of merciless judge). I’m not saying you need to adopt this mindset- trying to make the point that OCD makes us see things in black and white and often there’s a lot of gray that we can tap into that is very helpful. Maybe looking for other perspectives can help you determine how you truly feel about it (not how OCD makes you feel). ERP is tremendously helpful with scrupulosity as well as talking to an honest, well studied, and compassionate priest/pastor. I hope this was helpful to you. It was helpful to me