ROCD

I was just on tik tok and I seen this girl talking about how she only stayed in her relationship cause she didn’t wanna hurt him, but she was mentally gone and now I’m panicking, and I’m scared. It triggered me so bad, and I’m numb, like I don’t feel anything for my bf and that scares me. It feels like when I say “I wanna be with him” that I’m lying. Idk what to do, it feels so real, and I try to just sit with the feeling and the thoughts but then it feels like I’m giving into them, and the urge to leave get stronger. I’m scared this isn’t ocd. Idk what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 6d

I go through a same feeling and have been trying to break it where I feel what I say about my gf is a lie and since it feels real/the urge to break up gets strong and eyes feel sad, that i start to believe it and ruminate on maybe i do not want to be with her. It’s very hard to sit with the feeling and thoughts since it feels so real and like it’s true. My therapist has told me lately to hear the thoughts but REALLY tell myself and hold to it that it’s all OCD

Sam.Thinks

Date posted: 6d

I am in the same boat with you, as are thousands of others. Your OCD is always going to push you towards believing your fears are true (i.e your OCD wants you to believe you’re lying when you say you want to be with your bf.) Sitting with the discomfort isn’t giving into it- accepting and believing that the fears are true would be giving into and you definitely aren’t doing that! Also, as someone who also struggles with ROCD, I have started to completely avoid relationship related content (hitting the “not interested” button so it stops recommending me such content) because there is so much noise from influencers about “must haves” in relationships and the “you shouldn’t date before doing these 5 things” bullshit posts. They’re overwhelming and you will constantly compare yourself to the molds they give you and you will inevitably freak out when your relationship doesn’t perfectly fit that mold. I followed a guy called Dr. Max Butterfield who has helped me a lot in learning REAL and healthy science-based relationship tips, as well as disproving those toxic tips you commonly see from people just trying to get interaction on their page. And remember, other people’s experiences are for sure real important things, but they are not your experiences and you are never getting their full story from a 15sec-60sec video on TikTok. By sitting with the discomfort and keeping yourself from finding comfort in mental compulsions, you’re already taking a step in the right direction! It’s so hard to not do the comforting thing, but that’s how you’re going to see real long term improvement in your condition. Stay strong! 🫶🏻

Rgreen061820

Date posted: 6d

@Sam.Thinks This helped me an incredible amount, and definitely made me feel seen. I tend to panic and feel crazy, and it feels like nobody understands, like I’m the only struggling when in reality, I know it isn’t true. Thank you for this, truly, and I hope you are well!

r.m.1

Date posted: 5d

In her situation, sounds like she was focused on his emotions, not her own…. With OCD, we are focused on things that go against what we value and want. Your situation is different. You’re focused on how you feel because it goes against your values and beliefs (which is why it bothers you)

Mariabae

Date posted: 24w

i want to cry- rocd- respond please

i saw a tik tok with a guy reading notes about how others relationships ended, or new it ended something like that. One of them was “ when i wasnt excited to see her anymore and it felt like a chore, i wasnt happy anymore and i felt like that for over a year but i couldn’t tell her” i feel horible bc i think i have rocd and for over a year i obbses with me not loving him anymore. i feel awful. what if im in the same position as that guy. what if i dont love him. he is at my house rn and i feel si bad, i feel like i have no feelings. i feel horible i font understand what is happening. i dont want this to happen . This video made me want to cry. what if i cant accept the fact that i dont like him anymore. when he kisses me i think that i dont want him. i feel like a liar.

Mariabae

Date posted: 17w

rocd

I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.

Mariabae

Date posted: 13w

panic. scared. it feels real

Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community