- Date posted
- 4d
Worried about the stove
How do all of you deal with stove and burners on? And not worry
How do all of you deal with stove and burners on? And not worry
Yes all the time
Worry but don't check on it
I used to take pictures but that is not dealing with it
Hello friend! To start, these have been my longest and most consistent obsessions. I've been checking doors and stove burners for years. And, at one point, it was truly obsessive. I'd check four, five times, and then circle back and check again. So, what I'm trying to get across is that I get exactly where you are coming from. In addition, today, I am much, much better. I still check doors before I leave the house and before I sleep, but I rarely check twice. I've also been able to mostly quit checking the stove. I would say I've been able to improve my symptoms (reduce anxiety) by about 70-80% and I continue to get better. It is very, very possible. Here's how: In a word - exposure. Start by taking note of what you are doing. Checking 5 times? Okay start there. Make a rule. Today I'm only going to check 5 times. Then, do that for a few days. The next time, in a week or so, start doing only 4. Then do that for a while until it doesn't feel so bad. Then 3. Then 2. Then 1. I'll give you some concrete examples. But keep in mind I didn't do all of these at once. I felt like I had to check my house in a certain order. I started mixing up the order a little bit. Or I would skip steps that I really didn't need to be doing, even though I felt like I should (Do I really need to check if the pantry light is on every night. I can see it's not before I even look over there.) I felt like I had to physically touch and try to open my front door to make sure it was locked. I started just looking at the locks to make sure they are locked without touching it. I felt like if I went somewhere, I had to double-check the oven (and everything else, of course) was off. I started running small, 15-minute errands and leaving things on intentionally (not my oven of course. I mean lights and such). I slowly expanded this to maybe 30-minute errands and 60-minute errands. And so on and so on. Essentially, I would take stock every time I felt like I absolutely "had" to do something and I would question if it actually made any sense. Turns out, almost none of it did. I was just doing it because I felt like I had to. So, I slowly, incrementally pushed myself. I started doing things wrong. And now I can do things that I just probably couldn't have done 6 months ago. However, I will take issue with your question. You ask how you do this and not worry? Unfortunately, you can't. You will worry. That's important. The worry still happens. But you ignore it. When you respond to the worry, you are training your brain. You are telling it that it was right to make you worry. It thinks it's saved you somehow. But when you worry and do nothing (or better yet, the opposite of what your brain tells you "must" do) you are showing it that it had nothing to fear. From that, then, your brain learns not to fear so much, and the worry decreases. You have power over it. But the only way to reduce worry is through it. You can't get rid of it. But you can get through it. And then, things will get better. I'm sorry you are going through this. You are not your thoughts. You are stronger than you think!
You’re awesome!!thank you for all your suggestions. And ideas. It really affects my life and I become really depressed about it. Thank you !
The way I get out of this situation is to check once and that’s it. It’s been said that the more you check the more uncertain you become.
The stove in my house is a glass top variety. I figured out how to engage a lock out feature. This helped me feel a bit better because there is less likelihood of it accidentally being turned on. I find I will still circle back to check; though less frequently .“One day at a time”. The anxiety can really amp up when I am out of the house at work and can only trust I will come home to find it was unfounded worry. I try to use the feeling of relief to buoy my confidence and reassure me I can leave the house.
I check everything when I go to sleep ONE TIME, when I’m locking my house up, when I go to sleep and my brain tells me “I don’t think the stove is off” I say “i checked this already and I’m not willing to get up to check again, so maybe it is on maybe it isn’t but I’m okay living in the discomfort…” although I KNOW I turned it off, but getting up and checking again gives into the OCD, and the cycle will just get bigger and stronger
@KaylynnBen Thank you for all your suggestions! So appreciate them!
Are you worrying that you forgot to turn them off when you leave the house?
I did that for awhile. I also check doors to make sure are locked. Very frustrating life
So at night I have these intrusive thoughts that I leave the door wide open. This causes me to fear that someone will walk in the house and harm my family. I also have this back massage device. I fear that if I leave it plugged in on accident a fire will happen. So I went down to make sure that it was not plugged in. The thing is that I never used the massager that day. When I went back up I felt like I opened the front door (an entrance to my house) even though I didn't. I had to get my wife to check the door other wise I would not have slept. When I checked it I became more insecure. This has been reoccurence with me.
i keep having this stupid ass checking or obsession, idk to grab a piece of metal and see if ill put it in the microwave and make it blow up or burn the house down or something and im getting so so fucking tired of this shit, ill explain the story how it happened (cause of one incident where i did give in to the checking to the point of putting a magnet in the microwave, hitting the timer but immeditaetly stopping it, then starting it again, stopping quickly, all while screaming at myself to stop cause im terrified what im doing, then my dad came to see what was wrong and when i showed the magnet, he gave me this look of...fear? dissapointment? like i am a danger, even heard him telling my mom later how they need to be careful with me or else i could burn down the house, thankfully my mom knows my ocd a decent amount and brushed off his fear and comforted me, but ever since that day) Now my brain loves to torture me with the idea im a one slip up away from burning the house down, so ill be grabbing metal and seeing if ill put it in the microwave, and thing is, because how scary it is, its hard for me to breath or be calm, all i can do is scream and eventually call my mom when i can get myself to finally speak to tell my alexa to call mom im so tired of this shit and i dont know how to approach it
Hi i need help as im checking things over over as in doors cooker switches taps etc
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