- Date posted
- 3d
Fire Alarm Toaster Fire!
We who live with OCD are really good at one thing. We can ruminate for hours. We can even make up false memories and believe them to be true. But above all, we are good at attaching meaning to our thoughts. Where the average mind naturally shifts forward to the next thing, our minds crave certainty, and that craving drives us to assign significance to nearly every thought that passes through. Whether it is trying to make peace with a thought through rumination or trying to deny it outright through suppression, these are all what we would call compulsions. But beneath that label, they are really just reactions to the meaning we have attached. It is like a smoke alarm that goes off in the kitchen every time you make toast. The alarm is not broken. It is just hypersensitive. It reacts as if there is a fire when in reality there is no danger at all. OCD is like having that alarm wired directly into your mind. Thoughts that are harmless or uncertain set off the siren, and our compulsions are the frantic rush to put out a fire that does not exist. From birth, and more intensely for those with OCD, our minds were trained to attach meaning to every thought, feeling, and sensation. OCD, at its core, is compulsive meaning attachment: the inability to stop assigning significance to thoughts that are uncertain, unknowable, or meaningless. What I have been discovering in my own journey is this: yes, it is important to stop engaging with compulsions. But there is a deeper step too, which is learning to stop attaching meaning in the first place. Letting the thought be just a thought. Letting the toast cook without grabbing the fire extinguisher. I am not here to hand you a 10-step miracle cure. If there was one, we would all take it in a heartbeat. But I am here to share what has been working for me, and how by loosening the grip on meaning itself, I have found a surprising amount of peace.