Intrusive images and reality

So my therapist told me to start telling myself every time I have an intrusive thought just say oh there’s that thought again, and don’t try to figure it out or do mental compulsions. Well our usual tactic of “there’s that thought/feeling again” is not working at all this morning. This morning I was having really bad anxiety, it hits hardest in the morning when I am lying in bed with my son and I know the thoughts could come at any minute. Well they did, and I immediately was like no please just think of anything else. Well in pushing away the thoughts, I had this really weird feeling like I couldn’t decipher between reality and images. I was just getting flashes of images that felt so real. Even though I could physically feel my body and know I wasnt engaging in the thought or acting on it. It was like a flash of anxiety that hit and I couldn’t tell what was real and wasn’t. So of course my mind starts trying to figure that feeling out and if what I was thinking about just happened. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to say there’s that thought/feeling again, I can’t let it go. I was physically conscious and could feel my body but mentally I couldn’t. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I’ve been doubting and second guessing that moment all morning and I’m in a bad spiral, again. 😭 it’s like every time I think I’m moving forward I get sucked back in and feel like I can’t practice my tools anymore. I don’t know what I should do 😩

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

Your not alone, never give up, keep working at it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

Sounds like you we're experiencing severe anxiety that may have caused dissociation. The more you read into the thoughts, the more severe the anxiety gets, and the more OCD pulls you in. Just remember, this is exactly what OCD does. Sit with the thoughts and don't analyze them. Let the anxiety be there but continue doing whatever you're doing.

Sunshinemomma17

Date posted: 6w

@Anonymous Sometimes I can immediately label, resist and move on then others it’s literally impossible because it feels so real and I can’t decipher between reality and what’s going on it my brain and that’s when the doubt comes in and when it’s something so horrible I have to have certainty. This is agony

Nocd4nicole

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

@Sunshinemomma17 - It really stinks being here. I don't know if this small line could help, but I feel like it helped me at my worst and still helps me when I'm met with intrusive thoughts now (2 years post "conquering" OCD). "I am not my thoughts." Separating myself from my thoughts felt like a real game-changer for me. Thoughts are not actions, and thoughts are not you. They are based on things we've seen, heard, were told about, etc. For people like us, they are based on our worst fears, the things we NEVER want to come true. While the thoughts SUCK, the good news is for most of them, if we don't want them to come true, we just don't act on them. The thoughts don't mean anything; they have any power, you do. A longer line with the same sentiment I learned was somehting like, "I can think, see, say, and hear anything at all and it will never guarantee that I will do something or something is going to happen in my life."

Sunshinemomma17

Date posted: 13h

@Nocd4nicole Thank you so much for the encouragement and suggestions. I really appreciate it ❤️

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 25w

It feels more real than ever right now :(

I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.

milkcarton19

Date posted: 11w

Help Out of Loop

I had a really bad nightmare revolving around one of my big themes and I woke up with the panic still left over the dream as if it was real and I kept thinking about the situations. I tried to tell myself it was just a dream, but then it made me question real life. So then it was a cycle of ruminating about the events as though they were real and my reality which really messed me up bc my biggest theme right now is becoming schizophrenic/catatonic/"crazy." I feel stuck in a loop, I've tried saying the "maybes" and even talking to my partner about other things but it just keeps looping in my head "am I crazy?" "I can't differentiate between dreams" "I feel like I'm stuck in my head and I can't even talk". Any tips? I feel like I'm at the crescendo of my 20 years (lifelong) ocd due to stress from moving soon.

Anonymous

Date posted: 9w

Need help right now

So been trying to do erp with my therapist for a while now, and tis really hard and feels like it's not working. Il get this weird sensation or feeling that makes me feel"gay" or as if I'm attracted to someone, and I know my therapist keeps telling me" you don't have to put meaning into the thoughts or feelings" but that seems impossible to do because and I'm sorry to say, it makes me feel that specific way. And I'll use the Erp quotes, "maybe maybe not" or"the more I struggle, the worse it gets" or"these feelings and thoughts are here, but I'm choosing to let them be" and I'll do nothing and try to let it be here but it's so distracting and feels very real, and it's like this sensation, small or big and it last all day, and even just sitting with it isn't working. And my therapist will tell me"you don't have to believe in it" and I'm sorry I feel like if it were that easy, OCD would have never been a problem in the first place, or live with uncertainty, however it doesn't feel like uncertainty, but feels very truthful or valid. Idk what I'm doing wrong tho

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Intrusive images and reality

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