ROCD struggles

Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?

Kdmaw

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

I think it doesn’t end but it also doesn’t have to be dealt with forever. Like, as you deal with it, it becomes less of an issue to have to deal with, but it’s not ended per se. If the doubt is on you in your relationship as opposed to your partner or the relationship itself (I.e. being attracted to others makes you doubt yourself in the relationship), then there’s also the front on whether being attracted to others is itself a bad idea. I realized after being in a long term relationship that I was polyamorous. I chose to maintain that monogamous relationship, but I stopped judging myself and others for not having some specific set of inner feelings about how a person should feel about such things

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

@Kdmaw Yea it's certainly a struggle. I'm quite sure these thoughts would happen with anyone I was with. It's just like your mind getting used to one thing but becoming curious in another. However this a commitment and I need to remember that

Helpme55

Date posted: 15w

@Kdmaw Did you stay in your long term relationship? If so, how did you work things out with your partner!

Kdmaw

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

@Helpme55 Yeah still going strong - we’re in our 24th year together now. I practice monogamy even though I’m polyamorous. It’s a choice I make consciously now, but I have the agency to make that choice for myself. I don’t just accept monogamy as the only good choice that I have to follow, which is what it was for me when I was younger. That reframing of my perspective helped me learn to not beat myself up when I’m attracted to others or develop emotional connection to others. I just make a concerted effort not to have overly intimate relationships with others that cross relationship boundaries. I see it like, you can give up eating peanuts even if you love them because your partner has a severe allergy to them.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

@Kdmaw That's good to hear and encouraging!

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