Anonymous
- Date posted
- 2d
ROCD struggles
Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?
KdmawKdmaw
- Date posted
- 2d
I think it doesn’t end but it also doesn’t have to be dealt with forever. Like, as you deal with it, it becomes less of an issue to have to deal with, but it’s not ended per se. If the doubt is on you in your relationship as opposed to your partner or the relationship itself (I.e. being attracted to others makes you doubt yourself in the relationship), then there’s also the front on whether being attracted to others is itself a bad idea. I realized after being in a long term relationship that I was polyamorous. I chose to maintain that monogamous relationship, but I stopped judging myself and others for not having some specific set of inner feelings about how a person should feel about such things
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2d
@Kdmaw Yea it's certainly a struggle. I'm quite sure these thoughts would happen with anyone I was with. It's just like your mind getting used to one thing but becoming curious in another. However this a commitment and I need to remember that
Helpme55Helpme55
- Date posted
- 2d
@Kdmaw Did you stay in your long term relationship? If so, how did you work things out with your partner!
KdmawKdmaw
- Date posted
- Yesterday
@Helpme55 Yeah still going strong - we’re in our 24th year together now. I practice monogamy even though I’m polyamorous. It’s a choice I make consciously now, but I have the agency to make that choice for myself. I don’t just accept monogamy as the only good choice that I have to follow, which is what it was for me when I was younger. That reframing of my perspective helped me learn to not beat myself up when I’m attracted to others or develop emotional connection to others. I just make a concerted effort not to have overly intimate relationships with others that cross relationship boundaries. I see it like, you can give up eating peanuts even if you love them because your partner has a severe allergy to them.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- Yesterday
@Kdmaw That's good to hear and encouraging!
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- Date posted
- 25w
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sley_13
- Date posted
- 24w
ROCD
I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 16w
ROCD
I keep seeing random people that are "more" attractive than my gf and it just makes me question everything. I will then go through photos of my gf to validate my relationship. This just sucks. Maybe I am with the wrong person?
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