Anonymous
- Date posted
- 12w
ROCD struggles
Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?
KdmawKdmaw
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w
I think it doesn’t end but it also doesn’t have to be dealt with forever. Like, as you deal with it, it becomes less of an issue to have to deal with, but it’s not ended per se. If the doubt is on you in your relationship as opposed to your partner or the relationship itself (I.e. being attracted to others makes you doubt yourself in the relationship), then there’s also the front on whether being attracted to others is itself a bad idea. I realized after being in a long term relationship that I was polyamorous. I chose to maintain that monogamous relationship, but I stopped judging myself and others for not having some specific set of inner feelings about how a person should feel about such things
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 12w
@Kdmaw Yea it's certainly a struggle. I'm quite sure these thoughts would happen with anyone I was with. It's just like your mind getting used to one thing but becoming curious in another. However this a commitment and I need to remember that
Helpme55Helpme55
- Date posted
- 12w
@Kdmaw Did you stay in your long term relationship? If so, how did you work things out with your partner!
KdmawKdmaw
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w
@Helpme55 Yeah still going strong - we’re in our 24th year together now. I practice monogamy even though I’m polyamorous. It’s a choice I make consciously now, but I have the agency to make that choice for myself. I don’t just accept monogamy as the only good choice that I have to follow, which is what it was for me when I was younger. That reframing of my perspective helped me learn to not beat myself up when I’m attracted to others or develop emotional connection to others. I just make a concerted effort not to have overly intimate relationships with others that cross relationship boundaries. I see it like, you can give up eating peanuts even if you love them because your partner has a severe allergy to them.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 12w
@Kdmaw That's good to hear and encouraging!
Related posts
Suhonn
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
ROCD again?
Last summer I had my first episode with ROCD, it was a terrible spiral and the worst time of my life. I made it through and now I'm going through it again. I had been doing some training with a coworker 2 weeks ago and these thoughts crept in: "Am I spending too much time with him?" "What if I have feelings for him?" I know I do not have any romantic feelings towards this person but now the doubts have rerouted themselves towards my husband again just like last year, "What if I fell out of love?" "What if I'm indifferent?" I am trying to get out of this spiral again, I hate this.
Mk3
- Date posted
- 21w
ROCD
I am in an endless battle to figure things out. I think I figure something out that makes me feel better about my thoughts and then I find something else to prove it wrong and the cycle continues. I have so much discomfort I want to confess to my partner so bad. How do I handle this. I don’t think I’ve ever sat in this much discomfort. Why does it feel THIS BAD.
starr_panic
- Date posted
- 17w
how can I heal from my rocd ?
[ vent ] At times, I'll be doing fine, and I won't be thinking about anything, and then boom. I have thoughts like, you don't love your partner, you only say I love you to convince yourself you love him, you don't actually like him. It makes me really upset because I genuinely do like my partner, I genuinely do want to be with my partner, I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, and I love him so much. But I always tend to talk to AI, and AI is always telling me my symptoms are just ROCD. And I just want to get rid of it because I didn't have these problems before, and now I do, and I just want them to go away. Yesterday, I was literally crying because of how bad I felt. My partner does me amazing, he treats me amazing, but my thoughts always lead me to wonder, what if this isn't ROCD and I just genuinely don't like my partner? Even though, as much as I want to, what if I don't, but I really do, and I want to be with him, and I do love him. Recently, I've talked to him about these feelings, and he told me that he's felt like this before as well, but the way he comes with it, he doesn't think about it as much. But me, it goes in my head over and over and over and over and over and over, it's like a loop or a cycle that never ends. And I always look up, how can I heal from ROCD, and it just says to settle with the thoughts, don't look for reassurance, and it's hard not to do that because like, what else am I supposed to do? It's hard for me not to do that because it's so heavy, and to me, for my ROCD, it never shows up as what if questions, it always shows up as statements like, you don't, you don't love him, you don't want to be with him, you're only saying that you love him to convince yourself you do, stuff like that. It's hard
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