does anyone else struggle with limerence? I honestly cannot tell if i’m obsessed with this person in like an ocd way or in a limerence way. Or it could even be just a crush. I have no idea and this has been plaguing me for the past two years.
I struggle with this hardcore, I completely understand how you feel. It’s something I’m struggling with too so I’m not sure how I can help you :( other than just know that you are not alone
I struggle a lot with limerence!! I have ADHD too so it’s really a nightmare. But I think the important thing is to recognise it, to distinguish between limerence and a true feeling. There is a way to overcome limerence but you have to work on it and on yourself
@winterdays Do you still struggle with this? Idk what it is I thought it was an adhd hyperfixation on a person but I’m scared it’s actually limerence. I have a bf and I feel insanely disloyal and panicked
@issphra 🫶🏻 I do still struggle with this very much. I also have a girlfriend and adhd, but I still struggle with limerence. I feel like I can tell the difference mainly bc I’ve been struggling with the same person for the past two years. The only way I feel like “free” from those thoughts and feelings are when she’s simply not around. Object permanence helps also to forget. I live in constant guilt too 🧍♀️🧍♀️ I also feel disloyal and I often panic that I’ll somehow slip up. I literally have no clue what to do.
@issphra 🫶🏻 Hi!! Yes I still struggle with limerence. Bear in mind though that I’ve never had a long-term relationship. Also there’s this guy I think I’ve been genuinely in love with for 2 years. But yes at first I always experience limerence. The important thing is to recognise it. Most of the times people with ADHD experience limerence because of that rush of dopamine, nothing else. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people
@winterdays Thank you for replying 🫶🏻
i struggle with limerence and asking for reassurance constantly (personally not from my limerent object but i ask my friends to reassure me about them), so my therapist thinks it’s ocd. i think the difference between a crush and limerence (personally) is that you literally cannot stop thinking about your LO, like they are ALWAYS on your mind (and they are also the source of distress/ panic). in my mind, a crush should make you happy when you see them but not overly distressed if you don’t. also, limerence can throw you into waves of euphoria, where you feel so satisfied that you could be floating, then right back into the trenches. i don’t know, i’ve been dealing with this for years and i think unfortunately the only thing that helps is to stop talking about it almost completely. i’m not there yet though because it’s really difficult. i wish you luck!! <3
@loulou<3 oh yes it’s definitely not a crush, and i’m sorry you’ve been struggling with this too :( it’s really difficult!! and unfortunately i work with my lo so it’s just hard to not be around her and think about her too🧍♀️🧍♀️thank you though!! :) i wish you luck too!!♡
@Anonymous yeah mine is one of my best friends, so we spend a lot of time together and i see him pretty much everyday :(( a part of me debates if i should just tell him hoping that ill be too embarrassed to be around him then lolll
@loulou<3 i completely understand that!! mine already has a girlfriend so it’s like double guilt 🧍♀️🧍♀️
I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
Is there a link between ocd and limerence? Does it mean that you want that person in a sexual way? Can it be platonic? Can it be towards a kid? If it is towards a kids, does it make that person a p*do?
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
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