SOS

I’ve been having a hard time literally for the last month. I’m getting married in a few months and I keep hyperfixating over my fiancés old friends. Specially this one friend who used to be my fiancés inseparable childhood friend since age 5. We are originally from Minnesota and we moved to Chicago 3 years exactly at the same time my fiancés childhood friend moved to Chicago as well although they lost touch. My fiancé has never been an initiator and they are not close anymore. My fiancé says he doesn’t care but I’m not so sure I believe that. We invited him to our wedding because I think its important to be inclusive. I’ve always felt intimated by his friend because his career is way more far advanced than mine and he is very social. For the last month I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming different scenarios that my fiancé and I have a relationship with him and his gf. I feel like I have to prove myself to him and I’m feeling so much anxiety about him coming to the wedding if he comes or doesn’t come that I will have rejection sensitive dysphoria. A big component is jealousy because the friend has 3 brothers and my brother died 7 years ago. So part of my rumination’s is daydreaming that he and his brothers are my brothers since I feel so lonely. His youngest brother is/was the same age as my brother and friends with these kids who really trigger me because I wanted my brother to be normal and friends with them. We saw him today and now I can’t stop thinking and ruminating and feeling a multitude of feelings and I can’t ground myself. Would love to know if anyone is experiencing something similar. I feel so embarrassed.

Kdmaw

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22d

I’d definitely suggest speaking to your therapist around this topic and get their take on your feelings and how to handle them. I couldn’t take away if you felt this behavior was bad per se, but it did seem like you were having these thought spirals that you didn’t want to keep engaging in, so the usual erp approach would probably be useful from that front. From what you described this seems normal to me. I’ve had experience with sexual desires about friends and the friends of a significant other while being in a committed monogamous relationship, I think that’s just how some humans are. But there can be an OCD element to those feelings too, so talking to your therapist would be useful. Like there’s interplay between a person’s sexual orientation, sexual desire, romantic relationships, and OCD that might require some more time and professional guidance.

TanyaC

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21d

Sounds like you are doing a lot of comparing. I always feel less than when I compare myself to others and lately I have been working hard to realize comparing only makes me feel worse about myself. And we never really know what’s going on with others- how can we? Weddings can trigger weird confusing feelings about people we “think” we should invite. My motto for all brides and grooms is it is your day and whoever comes is there to celebrate you! If they have other agendas so be it. No need to prove yourself to anyone.

Marie_Anon

Date posted: 23w

Upcoming gathering

I’m nervous about an upcoming gathering. I feel like I won’t be welcomed or only invited for the sake of the host being nice. I am afraid of what I will say or do, that others will pick up on my non verbal behaviors like I do with theirs (i.e. a shoulder shift, eye roll, texting each other while I’m right there etc.) and I’m afraid that I will ruin the vibes of the gathering by becoming paranoid. I don’t want my thoughts to spiral so bad that I need to leave and my fiancé is out of town so it’s not like I can escape. I don’t want to be there the whole time but also don’t want to seem rude by leaving early and keep thinking that if I leave early will be a topic of conversation for others there. It makes me want to curl up and hide in the house all weekend and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for over a week now.

jessmair

Date posted: 23w

Engaged with ROCD- insight needed

Longish post but please stick with me. Hi everyone. I’m just looking for a bit of insight and if anyone else has felt this. It may sound strange and I’ve not had the courage to ask this for a while…. So I’ve been with my partner (27M) for almost 3 years now, I’m (24F). He recently proposed which I was not expecting so soon. We always joked about it and when he said he looked at rings I was happy. I knew it was coming at some point but not so soon. When it happened it’s immensely triggered my ROCD. And I’m struggling with something in particular, I just want to know if anyone else has experienced it/ what the root cause could be so that I can work on it……. When he proposed it’s like my brain put a time stamp on our relationship. All of a sudden I’m counting the days of my relationship/how long I’ve been in one. It’s like my brain is “keeping track” of the amount of days/weeks that I have a relationship. It’s like my brain wants to be in a relationship for a very long time IMMEDIATELY, which is of course not possible. It’s like my brain is saying “you have to break up with him because you haven’t been together a while yet”. It makes it feel like time is going so slowly. I see couples together for 6/7years prior to my age/time and just think “how did they do it”? Same with married couples. It’s like I think “they’re lucky I wish I was at that many years already”. But at the same time, the thought of being with someone for a long time makes me feel anxious and sick and like I have to “escape” or “get out” urgently. I’ve struggled with this particularly for a month now and am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same or similar? Or can anyone offer insight into what this really could be deep down/root causes, as I REALLY want to figure out why and where it’s coming from. Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated ❤️✨

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

ROCD/Wedding/Depression

I honestly just need to vent. I am feeling so defeated. My wedding is coming up in about a month and I am not even excited about it. Which automatically makes me feel like a horrible person. But I’m just in this state of depression and anxiety probably because the wedding is getting closer and closer and my ROCD is flaring up so bad during this time and it’s just not making what’s supposed to be the happiest time of my life very enjoyable. My fiance is amazing this has absolutely nothing to do with him. He also is working A TON of hours so I barely see him throughout the week. I feel just very alone and sad during a time I should be extremely happy and I just guess I want someone who understands to tell me I’ll be okay and make it through this.

Relationship OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

SOS

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community