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Oh precious one :) God loves you so much. I dont think you need to identify which is ocd and which is a spiritual attack because God is with us through both and shields us from both. The thoughts are only scary because we feel them more deeply, we assign meaning to them, but they cannot harm us. The fiery furnace looked scary to the three Israelite boys but they were not burned because God was with them. The storm looked scary to Peter but he did not drown because Jesus was with him. And your thoughts look and feel like a spiritual attack because the fear is real and strong. But you will not be lost because God is with you still. There was one verse that helped me a lot, lemme find it. BRB.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 NRSV [3] But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one. https://bible.com/bible/2016/2th.3.3.NRSV

I feel this to the core. I’ve begged God through tears, on my knees, hiding in the closet of my bedroom, in the dark, alone and in the floor. I’m still here. Still struggling my with this and to be honest, sometimes I doubt God. Sometimes I doubt He cares about ME. Or for whatever reason won’t help ME. He’ll help everyone else, but I haven’t “cracked the elusive code” of having God move in my favor and see and feel that he helped me. In frustration, I get angry at God and let him it. But… I have to agree with Julianofnorwich, the less I fight, the more I surrender, the less I try to figure all the things out, the more at peace I am. I’m 45 and I can tell you it’s a process full of ups and downs. Something that helps me most of the time is to try and recognize what is happening in the moment and name it: “I am spinning and obsessing/in a compulsive behavior and this is OCD.” That helps often. Or… I’ll say to the incessant thoughts, “you know what? I’ll figure this out [tomorrow/next week, etc”. Even if I have to say this hourly. As long as I don’t give into it and answer it or validate its story or “meaning”, and just do the next thing I need to, I can usually get some relief. Keep sharing what goes on for you. You’re not alone.

I had this exact thought earlier that I planned on posting.

I don’t think begging is going to work. I don’t mean that harshly, trust me I’ve begged too. One of God’s big themes is that he makes us strong in our sufferings. I think it’s ok to pray for a miracle but really I think in most cases we are going to have to get through this battle. But we are not alone! He will never leave you nor forsake you. It’s a hard journey for us Christians with OCD because it gets tricky with how we rely on our Father throughout our struggles. Read your Bible everyday! Just 3 chapters a day is a good routine.

i recommend you check out Mike DeJesus on youtube, he is a pastor and struggled with OCD he has excellent videos