First of all, let’s say this: if you make a problem bigger, it will grow with you. I know how hard it feels to suddenly become alone, to suddenly feel like your whole life is only your responsibility, and then wonder, how will I manage without losing myself? The feeling of being stuck in a loop, unable to stop—it really feels endless.
What matters is to understand that many people go through something like this. If you make the problem bigger, it will grow; if you make it smaller, it will shrink; if you solve it, it will be solved. So don’t say, my life will be ruined. You can search for solutions.
Why not continue treatment with a doctor for this? Most importantly, start practicing exposure and response prevention techniques. This may have developed into such a strong habit that it feels like an addiction, and you can’t just blame yourself because it’s not “just you”—it’s a disorder.
I believe what you are experiencing is skin picking disorder, which is a type of OCD. Try to deal with it using CBT and ERP. Instead of only saying, I want to stop, which doesn’t solve the problem, take actual steps. For example, you can delay your response or distract yourself temporarily from the compulsion, then gradually expose yourself to the urge with a proper plan guided by a therapist.
The most important thing is to know that you are not alone. I feel you—I’ve been through this. Your mom loves you; she only wants to help you learn to manage this yourself. She can’t rescue you from it, and neither can anyone else—not even a therapist. Because this is something happening inside your mind.
What matters is that you start to love yourself again, to make the problem smaller, not let your life stop because of it. Move forward and live again, because the more you stand still on the problem, the bigger it will become.
