đdawnofdefeatđ
- Date posted
- 12h
Phone calls
Is it normal to not feel like you have much to talk about on the phone with your partner?
JTJR19JTJR19
- Date posted
- 12h
I used to be long distance with my girlfriend for months before I moved in with her. Weâd talk for hours every single day. Some days Iâd feel the need to apologize because my mind was blank. But to her, she just appreciated my presence and effort to even be on the phone in the first place because it was a comfort. She had less-talkative days and I never gave it a second thought because I just liked having her âthereâ. Not having anything to talk about or not being interested in the same things is ok. I donât understand my girlfriendâs job super well, but I can understand and relate and comment on how achievements and frustrations at work make her feel and comment on those so she feels heard. I feel if you are putting in that effort, regardless of having anything to say or not, speaks volumes to how much you ACTUALLY care about your partner.
AtWitsEndAtWitsEnd
- Date posted
- 12h
My girlfriend and I talk on the way to work and from work everyday. Sometimes thereâs genuinely nothing to talk about and thatâs okay!
đdawnofdefeatđđdawnofdefeatđ
- Date posted
- 12h
@AtWitsEnd Do you ever feel pressure like you need to come up with something to talk about and that if there isnât anything then that means you guys donât connect well and maybe you just donât like your partner?
AtWitsEndAtWitsEnd
- Date posted
- 12h
@đdawnofdefeatđ We make awkward little hums to fill the voidđ we are very different in our hobbies and occupations but at our core, we are the same person and share some hobbies! There are definitely some days where I get doubtful about our future, but I donât think thatâs uncommon and sheâs stuck with me forever so haha
đdawnofdefeatđđdawnofdefeatđ
- Date posted
- 5h
@AtWitsEnd Thank you âşď¸ I like that idea of cute little hums. You guys sound very sweet!
AtWitsEndAtWitsEnd
- Date posted
- 1h
@đdawnofdefeatđ Of course!!! And thank you! We do our best(: Iâm bad about overthinking and I can beat myself up about having every conversation be about deep stoic philosophyđ but she would be very annoyed at that!
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 12h
I would say that it could be normal in some relationships and with some dynamics. Not everyone is very talkative or outgoing. Some people even struggle with making small talk. Just because there isn't always a need, desire, or ability to talk on the phone with your partner does not have to mean that there isn't a connection. There are so many other things that could be at play that even trying to guess won't give us a clear answer. It's okay to not have much to talk about and it is okay to not know exactly why that is.
NotMyStickNotMyStick
- Date posted
- 12h
Yeah, itâs normal. Itâs not always about having something to talk about as long as youâre happy just being with/ near each other sometimes thatâs all you need.
JTJR19JTJR19
- Date posted
- 12h
Do you feel as thought there is genuinely nothing to talk about because you talk all the time or do days go by without really talking about your day-to-day life/experiences?
đdawnofdefeatđđdawnofdefeatđ
- Date posted
- 12h
@JTJR19 We live together and talk all the time. sometimes I donât know how to respond on the phone when heâs telling me about something about a subject I donât know about like his job. I feel like I will say something unrelated on accident to what heâs talking about cause I wasnât paying enough attention. Or I will try to support him in some way and it wonât be relevant and it wonât help. Or that I will look dumb. I think I just donât pay enough attention while on the phone. I get distracted easily, but I also notice that thereâs a lot more silence while weâre on the phone
Not2DayNot2Day
- Date posted
- 11h
@đdawnofdefeatđ Ask questions about what he's talking about that you don't understand. That helps them know you are at least engaged. And I find that it helps them to reduce their frustration as well unless he just expects you to know all rhings.
AtWitsEndAtWitsEnd
- Date posted
- 10h
@Not2Day I agree with this. I work in construction, my girlfriend in healthcare. I know practically nothing about it, but I do my best to ask as many questions as I can to let her know I care, and to try and understand what sheâs talking aboutđ
Stay.FluidStay.Fluid
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11h
All relationships are different đ try your best not to seek reassurance on if what you are doing is common or normal.
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faye1010
- Date posted
- 25w
My feed, please
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Chibee
- Date posted
- 20w
bf talks about same subject nonstop
I feel so bad asking for help about this but Iâm becoming a very bad partner with how Iâm currently responding to this. My bf and I are both very passionate artists, but he takes the cake for most passionate Iâd say. He will talk about his projects nonstop for hours and days on end. His current piece heâs talked about for maybe two weeks, everyday, itâs all he talks about and the first thing he brings up in conversation. He rarely talks about anything else now. I donât mind a passionate rant, but this is constant, and a lack of variety in conversationâŚI just struggle enjoying it. I have begun to struggling with listening and my brain tunes him out. Iâve always had this problem w long conversations, but now itâs very VERY difficult to fight and I feel very bad. He will often have to repeat himself. I feel like an awful person for feeling this way, and reading forums online I have discovered this is a sign I donât love my partner, bc loving partners can listen to their SO talk for hours on end, right? I keep fixating on this and I feel like this is the start of the endâŚI donât think I can grow to enjoy this.
anonymousgal12
- Date posted
- 12w
boyfriend is lagging
okay so i know that my boyfriend gets busy and i am usually checking my phone ALL THE TIME. like i am just that kind of person. but sometimes my boyfriend doesnât reply to me for a bit and it makes me sad. he lags a lot, and it makes me mad when he doesnât reply for a long time. we text and stuff but he doesnât text me as much as he used to. and it stresses me out and i worry that itâs a red flag, or if itâs my OCD telling me to worry about it. i am the kind of person to say âactions speak louder than words â and ive said that to him multiple times and he says heâs gonna work on things. itâs not like he doesnât text me AT ALL, he texts me good morning everyday itâs just the lagging that makes me upset. so, is it my OCD telling me to worry about it or is it actually a concern?
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