Please reply. I am embarrassed to share this. I dont watch porn AT ALL anymore and never will again but I keep getting intrusive images of porn scenes I saw on pornsites from a long time ago. Especially weird things, like I remember I once stumbled across porn that had a old man in it. Porn has lots of weird categories. I keep feeling bad and guilty for ever watching porn in the first place but I'm trying to remember a lot of people have watched porn/do watch it without feeling the shame I feel now, over a year after stopping watching it. My OCD is fixating on this to the point where it's making me want to throw up. I have real event/moral ocd and my ocd really tries to make me feel bad about these memories from a long time ago.

I wish I could go back to 13-15 and have never found porn. I watched it for a few years regularly 17-19 and I feel so ashamed, more so because I rarely hear about females watching porn. I feel like I am a horrible person for it. I dont agree with porn, I dont like porn at all and I think all those categorys on those websites are horrible but when I was younger I did what I'm sure many young teenagers do out of curiosity which is just click away. I'm disgusted now. My OCD latches onto this heavily and I feel so much disgust. Im almost 22 now, I will never watch it again but randomly I will get hit with a weird memory like this and feel SO much shame. I can only blame myself because if I had never watched porn in the first place, my ocd wouldn't have these things to latch on to. It would latch onto something else :(

Thankyou, I guess you're right. In this day and age we all do stumble across porn websites one time or another, and there is so much on those porn websites we come across all sorts of things and that seems to be the nature of those websites. I keep trying to tell myself that I was young, I wouldn't go onto adult sites now at all and when I was young I was just being curious like most people are. It meant I came across some weird things on those pornsites that I didnt like but that isnt my fault, I didnt put them there, I did what any normal person on a pornsite does and clicked around. Things are always suggested on those sites, it's a weird place. I wish the OCD would stop blaming me for watching porn. I feel so much shame and disgust. I do not like porn at all now, or how available it is. I have blocks on my phone to makesure I dont come across any adult sites or anything by accident. I still wish I'd never come across it at all so OCD had nothing to torture me with.

I wont give you reassurance, but I also found porn extremely young on the internet (unfortunately) too, and the first category I found was lesbian porn when I was 13 on YouTube out of all places. Even with this, it doesn't change the fact that I know I am straight and attracted to men. I know you're struggling but it will be okay x

@MJocd So it's normal to be turned on by those kinds of porn even as a straight woman?

@hateocd123 Yes definitely, but I'm afraid I'm reassuring you and I shouldn't do that x

Thankyou, I appreciate it. I feel so much shame when a random weird memory hits me like this. I don't like porn at all, especially now with the internet there is so much crap on these websites for young people to randomly come across. It really affects me and I feel that I'm now paying a price (OCD torturing me and telling me I'm a bad person) for watching porn in the past because if I hadn't then OCD would not have this subject matter to latch onto. Its It's such a shameful topic that I can even share it with others so I'm stuck ruminating alone most of the time.

@MJocd I cant*

I dont watch porn at all and havent for a long time, I think over a year and I never will again. I wish I never had, I am trying to accept I was young and curious about sex when I found porn websites and a lot of people go through that phase in life. Porn websites are weird places. I just feel so much shame at any memories I have of being on them once upon a time. I would love to know how to let the memory go because my OCD has latched onto them and keeps making me feel shame for ever viewing porn when in reality a lot of the world does and they're not bad people, they're just normal people, even good people.