Whenever I don't perform a compulsion and just accept the presence of the thought I feel like I like the thought so then I have to check if I like it. Ughh this sucks.

When my ocd flared up a few months ago it was primarily suicidal ocd and harm ocd. Worried I might want to kill myself or someone else. I was freaking out 24/7 and didn't sleep much. I did my research and didn't know it at the time but googling is my biggest compulsion. Found out about ERP and feeding into thoughts to stop them. Now they dont cause nearly as much anxiety but I'm still having the thoughts. That worries me because I'm still having them about 75% as much. I can concentrate again. From your experience can I expect the thoughts to decrease more? I'm sure theres still more I could do, i do resist them a little. Just dont stress oover them.

@briane Hi! Sorry you are going through this! Harm ocd is awful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone! I feel what you are going through and mine manifested in the same way... it started with me after taking the wrong medication (for anxiety) I became extremely depressed while on the meds and after I got off them (4 days later ) I was afraid to be alone because I kept getting harm thoughts that I would kill myself... I didn’t want to and have never wanted to kill my self but the ocd voice had me avoiding razors in the bathroom, kitchen knives etc.... after that it morphed and became harm thoughts about my husband and loved ones and that completely ruined me because I love my family so much! I researched traits of a psycho and would write down lists of why I would never hurt them which I later realized was a compulsion... researching too much can get bad for me as well, but I think of it this way if I’m researching to soothe myself it’s a compulsion if I’m researching for new info it’s not... it’s great that you found erp it is single handedly the one thing that got me to place I am now where I pretty much am not bothered by my ocd ... I read the book harm ocd by John hershfield I recommend it !!! Yes, ofcourse the thoughts will decrease, but the only way this happens is if you delve deep into erp, you have to bring up the thoughts daily and constantly and learn to sit with them and embrace them. The part of your brain that makes you panic about the thought cannot be reasoned with it can only be trained through habituation.... everyone is different through erp mine took a lot of trial and error I started with small steps last dec, got a bit better, relapsed in sept then realized I wasn’t doing the erp intensively enough so I went at it hard for about a month... it was hard I cried a lot, I felt awful but having a solid support system got me through it... about a month later I felt 60% better and now I can pretty much say I have ocd thoughts that bother me only a few times a month and I can quickly dispell them... the goal isn’t to get rid of them they won’t go away exactly, almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, the goal is to train your brain to not get so bothered by them... I’m at the point where I bring them on daily just to keep up with preventing a relapse... I hold knives and think about stabbing my husband and I even tell him, we r at that point where we laugh about it.... the brain. Will eventually stop freaking out but you have to be willing to go through erp and be strong and push back at the ocd... just remember 1. You aren’t your ocd or even your thoughts 2. It picks harm because you are a gentle person it chooses the opposite otherwise it wouldn’t bother us... lastly if you are going to do erp I suggest finding a therapist who can atleast guide you through it! I did all of the heavy lifting but my therapist helped to let me know I was on the right path, not the best route to take, but I’m really into mental health so I felt I could guide myself.. whereas some ppl really need a therapist to be with them every step of the way! Check out dr. Steven Phillipson videos he’s one of the best ocd therapists in the world and the vids r so helpful!! Sorry I know that was a lot but I figured I’d give a good answer! There is a light at the end of the dark ocd tunnel, I know because I was in hell a year ago and I finally feel human now! You can do it!! Don’t give up xx

@briane Hey! I’m currently going through the same ocd struggle. It’s my “theme” and I HATE it. I’ve never been one for self harm of any type and I love life so much. Ocd has me questioning myself and doubting that it’s ocd. I don’t know why the ocd won’t let go and let me live in peace. It’s been months like this for me. I’m not so convinced I will hurt myself anymore, but now I’m focusing on becoming so depressed that I would actually want to. It’s terrifying to me. How are you now?

@deemajical wouldn’t sitting with your harm ocd thoughts make you wanna do them idk i’m scared and spiraling that if i sit with my harmful thoughts it would make me into a murder

@Anonymous I fear the same thing currently