tried going to the gym today / covid

i’ve been missing working out a lot. decided it was time, got a lot of courage. i go to my tiny apartment gym, in the past there’s been 3 people in it maximum. i figured i could handle that without wearing a mask. big mistake. when i came in it looked like there was 2 people, then after my time on the treadmill i saw a 3rd. then i went to the second room to get a foam roller and there were 2 more people. i started feeling nauseous while i was foam rolling. then 2 more people walked in. i left, cried walking up the stairs back to my apartment. this is the most unknown people’s air i’ve exposed myself to in a long time, during a peak covid wave. right now it’s 1 in 21 people in texas. that’s a 30% chance someone in that room had covid recently and could still be contagious. what the fuck is wrong with me? why would i risk my health like that? truly hoping and praying everything will be fine and that i don’t show symptoms over the next couple of days. but it’s all im going to be thinking about until those days pass. fuck.

Health Concern OCD

Serio?

Date posted: 11w

Please be kind to yourself. It’s not your fault that the pandemic is ongoing and people refuse to take precautions

puppymelon

Date posted: 11w

most of my mental illness i’ve been able to just be self aware and rationalize my way out of it but. OCD is a different beast.

garlicgorl13

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

hey friend, I am so sorry this happened. You're not alone, there's a lot of us out there (myself included) who are still actively trying not to get covid! I mask anywhere that there is high traffic and there's no shame in it. People stare or give funny looks but I've never had someone approach me just to say something negative about it.

puppymelon

Date posted: 11w

this is also a high trigger on my hierarchy idk why i tried to do it why i thought it would go well. i was just trying to think “well you used to go to gym all the time without a mask and never got sick!” and “you had lunch with coworkers (outside) recently and didn’t get sick!” and “your boyfriend goes to a bigger, higher risk gym all the time and doesn’t get sick!” trying to rationalize it but. it didn’t work :(

lovecleme

Date posted: 11w

I’m writing this late at night so please bear with me. First off… I can tell that this is really stressful for you, going to the gym was a huge step. something I’m always reminding myself of to help me with my contamination OCD is that the human body has evolved over thousands of years to get to where it is today and people with much less access to things that keep germs away. I also think to myself that by going to the gym or by working out, I’m making my self strong and doing something that’s actually really healthy for me and something I SHOULD be doing. I would also like to say that Covid is not the big bad scary monster that you believe it is… I know that is much easier for me to say then for you to believe and trust me I understand that, but I promise you from one stranger to another it’s not. I got it and it was a mild cold. Please keep pushing through these moments. Going to the gym, in an of itself, was a win. I’m a stranger to you and so are you to me, but I’m proud of you. - C

puppymelon

Date posted: 11w

@lovecleme what scares me about covid isn’t how bad it is in the moment, it’s the effects of long covid. i’m disabled already and fear worse disablement from long covid. saying it’s just a mild cold severely downplays the effect it has on your body long term. that’s not my OCD saying that, it’s medical research. the OCD part of it for me is i’ve had 4 known infections of covid, and 1 in 5 infections leads to long covid. so i’m afraid that the very next time i get covid i will be permanently further disabled in some way.

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