Upcoming MRI

I have had extremely bad health anxiety for almost 7 months now. It started after I had a POTS flare up, started having panic attacks, stress migraines because my uncle passed away, then came the DPDR, dizziness, just a feeling of something NOT right in my body. I have had holter monitors, ECGs, an echo (all fine apart from POTS), multiple blood tests that are clear apart from one vitamin deficiency that I’ve taken care of, stool samples all good etc. but I just can’t shake the fact that I have a brain tumour so I’ve paid out of pocket for a full body MRI which is a week from today and I am absolutely terrified that they will find a tumour or MS or something else. I have headaches, dizziness sometimes, a really weird feeling in my head (not painful but like my head is kinda floating and not on my body? I can’t describe it), I also wake up every morning with a pounding heart and a nervous tummy. I had my worst panic attack the other day which led me to booking this scan because I’m just so convinced there is something horribly wrong with me. I’m so so scared all the time. I am in the waiting list for health anxiety based CBT but that will be in another few weeks. I just can’t keep feeling like this anymore. I’ve gone from being scared I have throat cancer, to stomach cancer, to heart attack, stroke, and now brain tumour or MS. I know if the scan is clear it will help the anxiety but I also know it won’t completely get rid of it that’s why I’m on the list for CBT. But I just can’t shake the fact that they’re gonna find something really wrong with me. I literally feel like I’m in a countdown to finding out that I’m dying and I was right all along and I’ve left it too late. I’m absolutely terrified. The scan is a week from today and I get results within three days so I won’t be waiting long but it feels endless :( I had a panic attack before bed last night and woke up three times during the night panicking because of all of this. Idrk what this post was I just really needed to vent ahhhhh

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

I have HOCD too and know exactly how you feel. I’ve been struggling with my own thoughts and fears. I’m sorry you’re feeling all this anxiety. What I’m learning is that when one test comes back normal there will be another trigger and fear that replaces it and on and on and on. I’ve started NOCD’s therapy and exposure therapy and I’m really trying to deal with the compulsions which only fuel the anxiety. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom or advice to make you feel better other than I 100% understand how you’re feeling and it’s the worst. I wish you peace.

Steph8261

Date posted: 16h

I’m in the same body. I have numbness on my foot and hip (weird spot) and I can’t sleep from thinking about it. I also had occipital neuralgia and I thought I had a brain bleed, my MRI is in two weeks and I’m terrified also.

suzie90

Date posted: 13h

@Steph8261 I’m exactly the same, and every time I try to sleep I have hypnic jerks it’s horrible 😭 I’m so sorry you’re in the same boat and I hope your MRI goes smoothly! The waiting is absolutely horrible

kay1115

Date posted: 15h

i totally understand how you feel. i’ve been painfully aware of stomach issues i’ve been having since december 2024. i went to er in january and they told me my pain was somatic. until about a week ago when i had very real symptoms and the docs finally agreed to make an mri and ultrasound, feeling very nervous about my appointment and that i should have advocated more for myself

suzie90

Date posted: 13h

@kay1115 I’m so sorry you went through that, it’s so scary. I hope your scans go well! I too always get scared I should’ve asked for a scan sooner, eventually I just caved and booked one myself. Waiting for the scans is torture tho 😩

kay1115

Date posted: 13h

@suzie90 such torture!! my ocd also loves to trick me into thinking i don’t really need the scans or that im making all of this up. even when its very real, i get nervous that im the problem and im abusing the medical system

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