some of my school embarassing intrusive thoughts

- what if i fall backwards in front of the whole class ? - what if i strip down and reveal myself in front of everyone ? - what if i hurt one of my good friendships by doijg something bad ? - what happens if i start an argument with the teacher ? - what if i start violently vomiting / retching ? - what if i read a worse inappropriately wrong aloud ? - what if my crush finds out i like him ? - what if i randomly blurt out a random classmates name for no reason ? - what if the teacher gets super upset and yells at me ? - what if i answer the question wrong ? - what if i cry super loud ? - what if i open my phone and something vulgar starts blasting this is only a few of the many i think on the daily. theres so many what ifs and infinite possibilities its hard to protect myself from all of them and feel secure

briarleighh

Date posted: 10d

All those what ifs sound overwhelming. Your brain is trying to scan for every possible danger so you can stay safe but it ends up exhausting you instead. Everyone has random intrusive thoughts and embarrassing daydreams but yours are showing up louder and more often. None of those what ifs mean you will actually do those things. They are just anxious thoughts passing through. You do not need to protect yourself from every single one though. 💕 It is okay to let them drift by without giving them all your energy.

Hello777

Date posted: 10d

I suppose maybe just try to have more confidence in yourself. For most of these things - so what??? So what if that happens? Will the world end?? If you fall back in your chair, who cares what people think? I’d be more worried that you don’t hurt yourself!! I have answered questions wrong, cried really loud, said stupid things sometimes!! Maybe those are the things that just make you you! Here’s a wild thought! Maybe people will like you for just being you!!

Hello777

Date posted: 10d

@Hello777 Regarding hurting a good friend, most of us hurt each other from time to time unintentionally! You can always say you are sorry! Just don’t do something really bad like cheating with their girlfriend or boyfriend or doing something really bad. But people make mistakes sometimes in other contexts and working through them can make relationships better. Regarding a teacher, you can always voice your different thoughts in a kind way? Did you grow up in a household where you had to be “perfect” or something like that? Where you couldn’t be yourself at all or where there was a lot of tension? I’m just trying to see where this might come from! 🙏🙏

cherriecola

Date posted: 2d

@Hello777 i grew up very insecure and shy and got embarassed awfully easily . its sort of the flip opposite i feel no where near perfect while everyone else is perfect. i wanted to be but never was

Hello777

Date posted: 6h

@cherriecola Hi again! Do you feel like maybe you have intense social anxiety? Have you ever been prescribed an SSRI like Zoloft? I am not a doctor but sometimes a medication like that can really help take the edge off all those worries. I would start slowly on like 25 mg, then maybe go to 50 mg just to see how you feel on it. I think the highest possible dose is like 200 or 300 in extreme circumstances, but even like 50 mgs might really help you. Again, I’m not a doctor, but it could really help you with all of these “What ifs” and the extreme social anxiety and self doubt. Keep me posted if you would like to! 🙏💖

vmpstr_

Date posted: 24w

what if's

does anyone has any tips how to stop the "what if cycle"?? i have very disturbing what if thoughts on daily basis and they're rlly scary always. i know they're not real but sometimes they feel so real and possible to happen and i hate this

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 24w

Anxious

I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 22w

Stressed

I'm in college and about an hour ago i had class. I like to sit alone bc I get a bunch of stupid intrusive harm thoughts. Anyway I couldn't focus AT ALL today. This girl decided to sit next to me and I wanted to ESCAPE. Like i desperately wanted to get up and leave to the bathroom and wait till class was over. I took a deep breath and stayed anyways and tried to focus on lecture but i kept getting so many thoughts and I kept hyperfocusing on my right hand (which was next to her) and my hand felt so weird! Like tingly?? I was like "omg why is my hand feel so weird?? Does that mean i want to do something?!" And it kept imagining me grabbing at her or grabbing my drink and throwing it on her while i was trying to take a sip. I tried eating my breakfast to distract myself but i was holding a fork and got another thought. I realized i was tensing my hands (as a compulsion... i try to keep them as still as possible and as close to me as possible bc the thoughts feel so distressing and the "what if i act out " is playing in my head) And I was internally panicking and now im at the library feeling sad and i feel like I need to solve this. I spent the past hour just mentally reviewing the whole class time rn. The whole class time I was at the edge of the table trying to stay as far as i could and i would get relieved whenever she would stand up to leave the class for something. I managed to make it through the whole class without leaving though but the question in my mind is bothering me so much, "how do I know that these thoughts aren't genuine or are thoughts I want to carry out and why was my hand feeling so weird?" I feel stressed at the library and i want to figure this out 😞

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some of my school embarassing intrusive thoughts

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