- Date posted
- 14h
Is it better to not give into the feelings?
So I won’t go to much into detail as I’m about to head to work, but one of my main “complusions” is my legs. It almost feels like someone has a rope/ hands around my right leg and it constantly annoys and frustrates me because it’s ALWAYS there and the only time it’s slightly eased is when I’m sitting down do to being able to sit on my leg and just the overall lesser movement also helps but I can’t just sit around all day lol, but what I do to relieve this feeling is stretching my left legs until it pops/cracks and feels even(I almost ripped a sink out of the wall and it’s the amount of pressure I apply so I have to be careful where I do it haha(I can even add a picture if anyone would like to take a look!) and usually it’s accompanied by a mental ritual that’s sounds something like “hmm hm hmmm hmm…. Hm HM” but what I want to know is it better to try and ignore these thoughts for as long as possible, I had like 15 minute timers before that helped me space it out but I released that since I was so focused on not doing my leg, it was way easier to slip up in other thoughts and complusions. I do also work in a warehouse so am constantly lifting packages that affect the feelings in my leg and adds to the unevenness and some days it’s really hard to push through without spiraling or shutting down and majority of the time even though I am diagnosed and all that my boss refuses to let me scan packages for a shift instead of unloading when I am having a harder day and it’s just really frustrating and I usually end up spiraling and becoming irate. Any help would be extremely appreciated, it’s been a long battle with lots of medications that didn’t really help, places that didn’t help and a lot of self medicating and hiding the symptoms. I finnaly found an actual OCD specialist and will be starting with TMS therapy which I am praying and hoping that it does SOMETHING for me and anyone else who try’s it. Any help and/or advice would be greatly appreciated and I hope you all are having more good days than bad days and are winning your battles! PS. I found out you can’t upload videos which I was going to do but here’s an image of what I do, and as you can see my hands are simultaneously pushing/pulling my leg and the other is pushing to apply the most pressure I can get.