is this normal

hi guys, i’ve been having intrusive thoughts about harming my family for a couple weeks now and it’s been stressing me out so bad, but lately or at least today i noticed that when it happens i don’t get that anxiety feeling anymore when i have an intrusive thought and it’s scaring me so bad so like now im stressed bc im not having anxiety to them. and another thing is that my intrusive thoughts are weird like for example my mom was showing me her new eyeshadow palette and my mind was like “too bad she won’t get to try it.” and it scared me so bad guys like you dont even understand i feel so evil and i hate it especially that now i im not getting the anxious feeling. i hope this makes sense im just a little stressed rn

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 9h

i fully understand man. in a way, it’s actually nice to hear people having the same types of thoughts i am. there’s been countless times where thoughts like what you said pop up, and i even went through a phase where the fact the thoughts weren’t getting me anxious scared me too. it’s gonna be okay, it just takes time

haileyy

Date posted: 8h

@samlovesjesus it’s actually such a huge relief seeing someone have these thoughts bc it makes me feel sort of normal if you get what it mean, thank you so much for replying this really helped :)

Jrp1013

Date posted: 9h

So many people are dealing with the same thing! Not that you should seek reassurance but if you search in the threads you can see many other people making very similar posts!

craigm

Date posted: 9h

you are not your thoughts! maybe doing a little extra to show your family you love them will help. stay strong <3

Alliesun

Date posted: 9h

That used to happen to me and then I’d get myself worked up again about the thought to prove it wasn’t my thought. My advice is to view this less emotional impact as you getting over the fear of an irrational thought.

Ericseal18

Date posted: 9h

Hello Hailey, a year ago my OCD was target towards my mom and some towards everyone I’ve seen. I got weird thoughts just like those such as “what would I do with them after I harm them” it’s just your brain freaking out. It only gets better from there. Start by spending less time on your phone, get good sleep and try to do your daily task no matter how hard it feels. Don’t focus on “when it goes away” focus on what you have going on today and I can assure you it gets better.

haileyy

Date posted: 8h

@Ericseal18 thank you so much for the advice you don’t know how helpful this was :)

TakingTime

Date posted: 8h

This is very common. I don't want to provide reassurance, but know that there is nothing wrong with you. We can't choose how we feel, so don't beat yourself up about not feeling anxiety around the thoughts. If anything, the fact that you feel so stressed about not feeling anxiety means the thoughts go against who you are. I had similar thoughts in the past (about not being around to do something) and here I am, three years later. To personify for a second, OCD can be tricky with its anxiety about what might happen in the future, but I think that the reason it is is because it knows it has no control--you do. We often think that our thoughts are so horrible because they're unique, but know that these fears are not. All the best

Lilyanna

Date posted: 5h

You are not alone and you are not evil, you are loved.

Ked2727

Date posted: 4h

You are not alone!!! I am on SSRIs to help with my anxiety to help with my OCD and I would also get stressed out when I wasn’t anxious. Like oh, “I must be a psychopath” but you are not your thoughts. A thought is just a thought. It can be a thought you don’t like but that thought does not mean intention. And as everyone said, not trying to provide reassurance but just letting you know so many of us have been here, are here and will probably be here again. But it does get better with NOCD!

Ericseal18

Date posted: 24w

Question

So I had a panic attack a while ago to “kill mom” and I forgot about the thought until a few days later. When it came back I was mentally drained and it lasted for 2 months or more. It eventually went away but it is back. I get other intrusive thoughts but they go away after a hour or so. Why am I stressing over “kill mom” so much. I just get irritated that it won’t go away. I’m beginning to think it’s a different mental illness maybe just anxiety? I’m not sure to be honest. It just appears and sits there and I feel like I’m doomed and a pyscho and worry that I’ll never forget the thought.

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 23w

Anxious

I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞

feelinalone.

Date posted: 22w

i’m so anxious right now.

i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?

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