Hocd is so confusing and scary. I’m scared I wont be happy with a man.

If it helps you guys it’s okay to find that beautiful. There’s a difference between finding things attractive and being attracted to it. So I find girls pretty all the time but I never catch feelings for any ! Hope that helps you guys with that particular thought

^ I have the same issue as @Jen22 it tries to get me with false “feelings”/thoughts when I don’t even enjoy it!

At the end of the day I know I desire a heterosexual relationship. But frick my brain is killing me. Ig that’s why OCD is called “the doubting disease”

My ocd is like, “well every guy you look at doesn’t immediately turn you on, so you’re gay” wth ?

I’ve had cute crushes on guys since pre-k and a Boyfriend when I was ten. I’ve never had a girl crush so I’m like I can’t actually be gay that doesn’t make sense. But what the heck do I know ?

Right, at the end of the day we all know we’re straight and just dealing with a disorder that twists who we are

You’re so right! I think the problem for me though is that OCD tries to convince me that I’m attracted to them even though I find no joy in the thought of being in a romantic relationship with a woman

Me too ! I have false crushes on my friends and it can go as far as butterflies that stem from anxiety but it feels like attraction even tho I’m obsessing. It’s so freaky.

I’m scared too

Me too ?? I have always loved guys and my whole life I was always just so in love with love and the fact that I can have a husband and kids and take care of them and now my life is ruined. My mind makes these happy dreams feel like they are fake. I keep pushing through though. It’s tough when the mind tricks me :/

Yes, I love my boyfriend so much and this causes me to just be so in my head and not enjoying moments with a wonderful man!! Sometimes the butterflies and love for him is there and I get so happy then my mind says “oh wait, I’m gay now..” and my mind goes back into the spiral!!

OCD is not going to take what’s important to us! We’ve got this!

@brookenoel yes!! I definitely developed ROCD first. I feel like I’ve always had it growing up, but I just catch my OCD sometimes and say “so you’re saying I’m gay but I get jealous over my boyfriend sometimes..? And I smile when I see him and get butterflies? Yeah.. okay OCD, nice try”

^ omg what you guys just said is relatable I thought I was the only one

Basically ?? it will be like “you see that piece of lint on your shirt? It’s because you’re gay and you’ve always been” it’s too funny sometimes.

Omg ?? fr though lmao

Mine will be like “you look gay in that picture” and I’m like what the heck does that even mean ocd ??

Yes girls all relatable god i am so happy after all these years i find people that have the same issue i always thought i was alone its crazy

LOL I was watching this court case on the news and they were all old men talking and one women showed up and my anxiety spiked and I said “omg!!! I just noticed the only girl and not any of the men, this must mean something because I wasn’t checking out the men” and then I was thinking, “wait... I am not even attracted to old men.. so, OCD, what are you trying to prove here?” It’s funny how OCD is so flawed sometimes

I relate to y’all so much! The intrusive feelings are the worst for me. And OCD always tells me “Well you think girls are beautiful and even think boobs can be beautiful so you’re probably secretly bisexual.” And it scares the crap out of me because I have always wanted to be with a man. I’ve dreamed of having a husband and kids for years. I hate that OCD takes what we want and tries to twist it.

^^^^ omg same!!!!! Omg this is so me it’s like I wrote it

Aww that’s same. It’s like I know I’m straight but it doesn’t feel like it bc ocd

^it bugs me so much! I just want to live the average American family life when I grow up with a husband and kids. OCD is taking that away from me ?

Relatable ? like my brain is taking everything I did in the past as saying I was gay and didn’t know it

Yeah, exactly ! My mind will say “remember that time you compared yourself to that girl? It’s because you were attracted to them” I hate it

same!

Glad I’m not alone you guys make me feel better! I feel bad for people who have ocd and don’t know what’s going on

Yes!!

I understand completley girls it is horrible keep fighting i have a boyfriend and a daughter that i love so much we can get thru this

I know how it feels guys I’m so scared I’ll never be happy with my boyfriend again or I never was happy with men at all.

Everyday I just give up and “accept” my thoughts and it makes me miserable ? I don’t know what to do about this

I hate accepting them

Same here hahah i just try to be happy in the moment and learn that life will get better it goes away once you face your fears except mine comes back with high stress and me n him have been fighting a lot ao thats what brings it on ??

@Na so confusing right! I have loved men since I was 5-6 years old and going into my teen years it was no different but my ocd says as I developed it just changed which isn’t true and I have ROCD so it’s like ?? I wouldn’t have this with him if I was gay.

As in I feel like I’ve always have ROCD growing up. This HOCD started a few months ago and I’m 23

@Na right ??. Ocd is so illogical it’s crazy. You can’t say I’m secretly gay for thinking women are pretty and experimenting , and then falling in love with men as a teen. But my mind is like “yes I can and here’s 1M reasons that don’t make sense at all”

Sometimes I have to laugh at the things my mind tries to convince me

Omg my best one is having a lot of guy friends and not falling for them. Like I have a boyfriend duh but my ocd says, you have guy friends, you don’t fall for them which means you’re gay! Which isn’t true bc literally before ocd even came up I was happily into men anyway ???

We are crazy but we’re not alone ?❤️

Basically! I remember in the first grade running up to these two boys during reading time and I kissed them. In Pre-K I would talk to my crush about getting married (lol we were so little!) I have always been so excited for the future just because I got to be with a man and have children with them. My mind tries to convince me that my bad relationships have caused me to “turn gay” but I’m not buying it because I have a wonderful boyfriend. Some days it’s tough because I will accept that I now have to live a life I don’t want to. And then there are days where I say “no way!! I will continue to love my boyfriend and be with him despite OCD”

I had a period where I wondered if I was bi and experimented ( I was like 10 - 11 ) but it worried me that I had a crush on my friend bc I told her I liked her during this time but I didn’t even know what I wanted ?. And it was forgotten but my ocd puts so much emphasis on this.

OCD is funny sometimes, but very scary with how convincing it tries to be. It’s nice that we can all joke about stuff like this though

It terrifies me but at the end of the day I try to laugh about how irrational it is

^i completely understand, I have been having a really tough few months. I haven’t been myself and I wish I could go back to my good moments. I’m definitely feeling defeated but am happy I can have moments like this with people who understand! I’m still trying to figure out how to explain this all to my boyfriend. I told him in the beginning when this started but I barely knew what it was

Yes!

And our good moments are our little moments of hope! I get butterflies and happiness sometimes when I’m with my boyfriend and I know myself again. Then it comes down a bit but even if I can’t take reassurance I know I’m straight.

That’s good!!

I hate that you deal with it too but you have no idea what a relief it is for you to say that. Today has been a rough day and reading that is exactly what I needed