Obsessed with engagement

So me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years and we’ve gotten to a point in our relationship where taking the next step is a conversation and something we want to do. So I had suspicions that he’d propose to me this past summer because one day I came home from work and their was a weird vibe and I asked him if he had done anything in the engagement genre and he said yes. So I knew he was planning something. As summer went by at one of our parties he got drunk and accidentally told me he was going to propose to me this fall. I became absolutely obsessed with this and I would drive myself crazy with excitement. And not in a small way like I had to start picking up hobbies to distract me from thinking about it because I was so obsessed it made me sick because I wanted to know when it was gonna happen. Any excuse I had to ask him for hints or opening in a conversation where I could talk about it I would. About a month ago he sat me down and told me he isn’t sure if he’s gonna be emotionally ready for to propose this fall like he thought he was. He said he thought he was ready but because of how obsessed I was with it started to make him feel like it wasn’t his choice anymore and he got too overwhelmed. So now I’m incredibly upset and I’m mad and I don’t know what to do with myself because I can’t let myself be obsessed about it happening this fall anymore because idk if it will and I’m in an incredibly bad cycle with it. Does anyone have any advice because I’m driving myself crazy

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: Yesterday

If you love him just be content being with the person you love, not everyone is lucky enough to find that. If more comes of it, amazing but if not you can be happy and excited still to spend your time with the one you love

cappsrissa

Date posted: Yesterday

Girl, my boyfriend got a ring sizer off tiktok shop a week ago and I’ve been obsessing over the thought of him finally planning this next chapter. I’ve been thinking about when, how, and where to the point where it drives me crazy because I love him so much. What helps me us is to not push away the thoughts but kinda sit and just push through. Do something with your partner, enjoy the small things in life with him and try to remind yourself that: there’s plenty of time and it’s sweet that he’s planning it and wants some more time! I feel like he just cares about you and didn’t mean to make you upset. Him having more time to plan it out can be seen as good too, you know. Rushing into anything isn’t necessarily good, so if he feels as though more planning needs to go into the proposal, then that shows he really wants to make it special. I know how hard it can be to obsess over these things. Me and my bf have been together for over two years as well. I’m hoping the absolute best for yall, remember to take care of yourself

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 18h

So so sorry to hear this. All of your emotions of being upset about this (and being excited) are totally normal. OCD tends to latch onto things, so if you notice that something is OCD, then it's time to practice things from your ERP therapy to kit. Eventually, you will feel better and better. :):)

avamay

Date posted: 18h

I’m so thankful for everyone’s replies

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 18h

@avamay Big hugs!!! 💙💙🩵🩵 You need them!! You will get through this :):):)

jessmair

Date posted: 25w

Engaged with ROCD- insight needed

Longish post but please stick with me. Hi everyone. I’m just looking for a bit of insight and if anyone else has felt this. It may sound strange and I’ve not had the courage to ask this for a while…. So I’ve been with my partner (27M) for almost 3 years now, I’m (24F). He recently proposed which I was not expecting so soon. We always joked about it and when he said he looked at rings I was happy. I knew it was coming at some point but not so soon. When it happened it’s immensely triggered my ROCD. And I’m struggling with something in particular, I just want to know if anyone else has experienced it/ what the root cause could be so that I can work on it……. When he proposed it’s like my brain put a time stamp on our relationship. All of a sudden I’m counting the days of my relationship/how long I’ve been in one. It’s like my brain is “keeping track” of the amount of days/weeks that I have a relationship. It’s like my brain wants to be in a relationship for a very long time IMMEDIATELY, which is of course not possible. It’s like my brain is saying “you have to break up with him because you haven’t been together a while yet”. It makes it feel like time is going so slowly. I see couples together for 6/7years prior to my age/time and just think “how did they do it”? Same with married couples. It’s like I think “they’re lucky I wish I was at that many years already”. But at the same time, the thought of being with someone for a long time makes me feel anxious and sick and like I have to “escape” or “get out” urgently. I’ve struggled with this particularly for a month now and am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same or similar? Or can anyone offer insight into what this really could be deep down/root causes, as I REALLY want to figure out why and where it’s coming from. Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated ❤️✨

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Help with ROCD

Can anyone relate to this type of ROCD? It’s like i obsess of my partners past, I’ve spent probably 100 hours over the last 3 years asking him about girls he was with before me questioning him about every little detail and seeking reassurance. I don’t want to think about these girls at all. And I’ve been in ERP since August and was doing really good and not sure if it’s just getting bad again the last few days because of the holiday (Easter) and i had to go to his hometown where I know he had a past in and he recently brought a ring which I’m so excited about but it just seems like it’s getting harder for me and i don’t wanna be talking about girls he dated for a few months before me when we are about to get engaged. Am i ruining my future? What can I do to help and to not bring up stuff about the girls before me? How can I be in the moment and not relate everything to an irrelevant girl before me? Help

BC123

Date posted: 15w

Relationship OCD

I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.

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