ROCD

I started talking about my ROCD (generally) with my partner and I realize that was NOT helpful. It turned into me freaking out because I feel like my partner doesn’t think it’s as bad as it is? Does that make sense? It’s like I want him to fully get it so that way he knows what he’s dealing with. And can choose to leave me if he thinks that’s best. It’s like I overthink the ENTIRE conversation and feel like I need to share more or understand exactly why he said something and exactly what it meant. And he says he’s not worried bc I’m doing what my therapist says… so would he be worried without a therapist? Idk I’m overthinking everything.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20d

I just want you to know that what you are feeling is a common feeling that many people dealing with ROCD, deal with. A good rule of thumb to know if its true or if its the ROCD is to think: 1. Does this give me anxiety? 2. Does it feel urgent (i need to fix it NOW?) 3. Is it related to my ROCD theme If yes, its your OCD lying to you and not something you should to pay attention to.

Mk3

Date posted: 20d

@Anonymous What if only 1-2 of those is true (sometimes)?? Still don’t pay attention? Thank you for the response. Your support is so appreciated!!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 20d

@Mk3 Yes still don’t pay attention! OCD can transform and mix and mold but these are 3 very common ways to recognize it, by anxiety I am referring to the feeling of “discomfort” by the way.

Mk3

Date posted: 20d

@Anonymous Yes! It also definitely gives off anxiety as well !

Mk3

Date posted: 18d

@Anonymous I assume these rules of thumb goes for anything within the obsession or topic ?

Mk3

Date posted: 17d

@Anonymous Cause I also have looks obsession and various topics within other ROCD stuff

Anonymous

Date posted: 17d

@Mk3 Yes! I seem to have various themes as well and I follow this as a general framework to identify if its an OCD thought that I should not engage in. #3 can apply to any theme :)

Mk3

Date posted: 17d

@Anonymous Yes.. like using it to identify if it’s an ROCD topic/obsession that shouldn’t be engaged with. That’s great! Cause like the thoughts or feelings themselves are “real” but our brain is distorted and other things due to ROCD

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 20d

He is right that if you are doing what your therapist says, then you are on a path to recovery, and that's all you can do. He trusts that you will get better, and he loves you the way that you are. It really is all you can do to just go through the therapy that is recommended. So you are on the right path, and all you have to do is keep working. I know what you mean, though, that other people don't really understand the OCD. My husband did not know what he was getting into when we got married. And he still doesn't fully understand. He still loves me completely though. If I want to find people who understand, I really have to go to places like this app. People without OCD generally don't understand it .:):) actually, it's very refreshing that he doesn't fully understand it, because he is actually never worried about it. And that is a very good perspective for me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20d

I want to start off by saying I fully resonate with this and I had the same exact feelings and experience word for word what you are saying as someone with ROCD. And Yes, you are overthinking everything. Thats what OCD makes you do. Thats why its called the doubting disorder. When you say: “I want him to fully get it so that way he knows what he’s dealing with” I completely resonate with this because I was in the same boat of trying to talk about it to my partner but getting so triggered and feeling like I never explained it “right” and let me just tell you, this sounds like and OCD behavior manifesting in a non obvious way. The uncertainty of “maybe he doesnt fully understand” it “maybe he isnt taking me seriously” are all OCD thoughts. Its the uncertainty that you are feeling that is making you share more (compulsion) It sounds to me that you probably have a confession compulsion and If that is true, no matter how many times you try to explain it to him, you will never be satisfied with how you did it because a new thought will come up in your head that you didn’t think about before. I know its super hard and uncomfortable but if you keep trying to explain it, you are just feeding the OCD. It might feel impossible to keep it to yourself but you can take baby steps by waiting at least 15 minutes before confessing and slowly taking longer. Of course the goal is to not confess at all, but even a 15 minutes delay means you are not letting the urgency that the OCD is making you feel, win.

cmax20

Date posted: 19w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

ellij

Date posted: 19w

ROCD flare up

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

Relationship OCD

Mk3

Date posted: 17w

ROCD

I am in an endless battle to figure things out. I think I figure something out that makes me feel better about my thoughts and then I find something else to prove it wrong and the cycle continues. I have so much discomfort I want to confess to my partner so bad. How do I handle this. I don’t think I’ve ever sat in this much discomfort. Why does it feel THIS BAD.

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