How do I stop the OCD cycle

So recently I've been suffering from relationship OCD. It's been going on for around 2 months and mainly involves intrusive thoughts of me being disloyal to my girlfriend, as well as mental compulsions to check former memories of conversations I've had with female friends and analyse my social behaviour with girs in daily life. I've found that when I'm at university OCD tales form in social situations where I convinceyself that every movement or word I speak is an attempt to attract or charm someone. And when I'm at home and the social anxiety has less power, I suffer from Intrusive sexual thoughts of my female freinds as well as former sexual partners. Ive found myself going from my flat at university back to my home and back again. Never staying in one place for more than a couple of days. It seems likey OCD is adapting to my surroundings does anyone know how to tackle this.

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20d

I'm sorry you are experiencing that, it sounds really exhausting. You are definitely not alone, I've had OCD surrounding my relationship before and it is not fun at all. I especially relate to what you said at the end about OCD adapting to your surroundings. That's exactly what it does, because it will always latch onto what you value most. I've found I can have 2 different attitudes with that fact: I can let it paralyze me and feel tons of despair because, no matter what I do, OCD will always adapt to my situation. Or, I can say, "if OCD will always do that, it means it's predictable, and I know what to look out for." With that proactive approach, I'm able to catch myself before I engage in compulsions much more often and regain control of my own life. I hope that helps! 😁 It almost sounds like you are on the run from your OCD by switching between your flat at university and your home. I'm unfortunately in this spot right now too :/ I'm a full time missionary for my church, and my OCD revolves mainly around scrupulosity, so sometimes I'll hide at home and avoid church meetings. It's an avoidance compulsion. The only thing I've found that works for me is to slow down, breathe, and be aware of my compulsions before they happen so I will know to allow the uncertainty. I'll say, "I'm going to this church meeting, so I'm going to obsess about if I've sinned this week or not. When that happens, I need to allow myself to feel uncertain about it." it's usually really uncomfortable for a few hours, but I feel SO MUCH BETTER afterwards, and I don't have to avoid meetings anymore. Good luck, I know you've got this!

boardsilly05

Date posted: 20d

Thank you so much for your reply. I've spent the last several weeks waiting to start therapy. So nice to hear someone else has experienced something similar. Up until now all I had for information was chat gpt. I've certainly tried sitting in the uncertainty it has proved easier said than done. So good to hear it's worked for someone going through the same thing.

Hi_1

Date posted: 25w

Advice?

I’ve been stuck in this cycle for the last month or two and am not sure how to get out of it. Basically, I will work on ignoring the thoughts and not responding or engaging plus limiting/completely eliminating compulsions. After a week or two of constant work, the amount of intrusive thoughts in a day goes down. The anxiety each thought causes also goes down with some, but not all, thoughts passing without notice like they would for a normal person. The thoughts that do stick cause anxiety and make me want to ruminate or do other compulsions but I make sure to limit them. After a bit, I’m in a pretty good head space. This is usually when it goes down hill. I’ll start to question if I even have ocd because some of the thoughts (once again not all) pass without notice. The difficulty resisting compulsions goes down and so does the anxiety, only increasing the questioning. I spend a while questioning if I’ve ever had ocd in the first place and then something sets me off or the questioning itself becomes a trigger and I get stuck back into the same ocd cycle with constant rumination, anxiety, and other compulsions. This lasts for a week or two before I know I need to stop and try and work hard to get back to ignoring the thoughts. And the cycle just restarts over and over again. Does anyone have any tips to stop this from happening? It’s really harming my recovery as every few weeks I dive back into the same negative place I was.

turtle..

Date posted: 17w

switching between themes

Themes constantly switching. I’ve been suffering with real event ocd the last year and am currently in therapy treating it. it’s nowhere near as bad as it was last year and it’s felt like a nice break. there’s days where it gets bad but i can’t compare it to the stress of last year. However i’ve noticed every time i overcome a theme a new one hits me out of nowhere. i’ve suffered with ocd since i was 9, and ive had multiple themes. i’m in a 2 year relationship with my partner and it’s amazing. she’s probably my second proper relationship due to the fact my first relationship gave me so much fear to get into another one as i was cheated on, and needed a few years to get over that. i kind of guessed that ROCD would creep in at some point as it just felt inevitable. anyways, i know my partner is not cheating on me, she’s beyond loyal, we are so so in love but i think due to that first relationship i had, being cheated on really messed with my head. it’s like my brain is telling me my partner has someone else even though i know in my heart nothings going on, and i trust her with my life. i also think because im in the happiest relationship of my life, anything that would indicate loosing her makes me feel sick and riddled with anxiety. and i know that’s completely normal for everyone. i think the most frustrating thing is, is knowing that my OCD has finally crept into my relationship which is something i never wanted it to do. this is a brand new theme and i have no idea how to treat this. i will speak to my therapist but if anyone has been through this theme and any advice in the meantime i would really appreciate it :).

Unstoppable ...

Date posted: 14w

Relationship OCD

Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?

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