I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’re feeling sounds so heavy, and it makes sense that with ROCD your mind latches onto little details and won’t let go, even when your heart knows your boyfriend cares about you. That spiraling, the racing thoughts, the cold feeling in your body—it’s not because you’re weak, it’s because your brain is fighting against you right now.
Remember this: a like on a video doesn’t mean comparison or preference. It doesn’t undo the love, time, and care your boyfriend has shown you. ROCD loves to tell stories that aren’t true, and the anxiety feels so real because it mimics danger—but it isn’t truth.
Something that can help is gently grounding yourself: take a deep breath, feel your feet on the floor, remind yourself, “This is my mind reacting, not reality.” Sometimes labeling it—“This is the OCD speaking”—can break the loop just a little.
From a faith perspective, I want to encourage you: you are deeply loved by God, who made you uniquely and beautifully (Psalm 139). No algorithm, no video, no fleeting moment can take away your worth in His eyes—or your place in your boyfriend’s heart. When you feel panic setting in, you might pray something simple like, “Lord, help me rest in Your truth and not in fear.” (Even if you’re not religious, give it a try)
It’s also okay to share gently with your boyfriend what triggers you—not to accuse him, but to let him understand your struggle. People who love us often want to support us more than we realize.
You’re not alone in this battle. Be patient with yourself—healing from ROCD is a process, and God’s grace is with you even in the messy spirals.
Remember, your boyfriend is with you, he’s not with those goth girls. You’re committed. Don’t forget that🙏🏼
