Advice please

I have had a boyfriend for officially 3 months today. We only kissed for the first time on the lips like 2 weeks ago roughly. We do it once or twice when we hang out each time lately usually, it's a bit awkward but it's cause we haven't really had a relationship before. I'm not ready right now for sex and I don't think he is ether, we are both quite awkward people which is fine. I keep trying to live in the moment but I'm worried about sex a little. A little less lately but at the very least right now im worried how long I'll take to he ready and that I'll take longer then a normal person. Personally I'd like to wait atleast a few more months (if he is cool with it too, I want him to also be ready) but I'm worried that it's uncommon to wait for like 6 or more months. It feels not drastic to me. But idk. My mom asked me if I want to get birth control yet, she asked cause I've been staying out with him very late she said, but it's just because we watch movies and stuff. I know she had a reason but what if she just assumed I would by now. I don't think my boyfriend would care much if I took long and he was ready before me, he said to me that sex was just a bonus in relationships. But what I'm weird? What it I take 6 months or more then 6 months, would that he uncommon? Would it be weird? Part of me wants to just not worry about when I'll be ready and focus on the now. But ocd won't let me because I have nothing else to worry about lately. Please give me advice

evielaine

Date posted: 21d

Hi LittkeMiss, You should never feel pressured to have sex. If you want to wait weeks, months or whenever you are ready, then that's what you do. Take your time... don't rush into anything. Try to be patient with yourself. It's difficult I know... but never feel pressured to put a time table on sharing your body with someone.💖

yl23

Date posted: 21d

And don’t forget OCD. You find yourself in a good situation, you are in love. You are reflective of your emotions, which is great. OCD tries to make that sound bad or „weird“ to you, which it isn’t. On the contrary. It’s self confident. There is no pressure.

lay12

Date posted: 21d

No it wouldn’t be uncommon some people just don’t have sex earlier on in their relationships some people do my friend has been in a two year relationship with her boyfriend and they still haven’t had sex

swiftiewhois...

Date posted: 21d

Thank you so much this helped

HawtLava

Date posted: 21d

Waiting 6 months or more is not uncommon. In fact the most common is usually 1-3 years. I feel this hard, but it is better to wait and be sure, than to give yourself away, yeah? My first relationship it took me about 2 years.

swiftiewhois...

Date posted: 21d

I think my boyfriend is fine regardless. And I know my mom asked due to just how late I was out so it wasn't for no reason, I was just worried. Feels like alot of people my age don't wait long, idk. But glad its not uncommon. I think my boyfriend would be okay with whatever, I'm just worried. This helped tho

HawtLava

Date posted: 21d

@LittleMissForgivesToEasily Yeah it may feel that way but some people do wait, and those that do usually stay together longer. Imo, if he didn't wait then it's really a bad sign. Happy to be of help, stay strong! 💪

swiftiewhois...

Date posted: 21d

@HawtLava I know some do it just makes me worry I'm waiting abnormally long. I don't like to feel different if that makes sense

thebookgirl

Date posted: 19w

Worrying About Giving Partner the Wrong Idea

I'm 30 years old and in my first official relationship. We've been talking for three months and dating for two. I like this man very much. He's kind-hearted, thoughtful, incredibly smart, and very sweet to me. On our most recent date, we had a heart-to-heart about intentions. We've only slept together once. Circumstances haven't been ideal for both of us, but I was worried there was something wrong with me (story of my life). He assured me that there isn't anything wrong with me and that he is attracted to me, there's just been a lot going on that's gotten in the way of being that intimate. He also told me he wants me to know that this is more than sex. I was very relieved to hear this, and very happy to know that he wants a deeper relationship, as I want this, as well. I just keep worrying that he thinks all I want is sex, which is not true. I told him as much, but the OCD part of my brain just can't let it go and can't accept that things are good, which they are. We show affection in other ways, like holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling at the movies. I just keep feeling like I've ruined things. Can anyone give me any advice?

Relationship OCD

Mitu_001

Date posted: 14w

Hey

Is not really an ocd post.So some weeks ago I started to date a guy who is going to college with me.We met recently and I hold his hand.After..he started to touch me...is a way that I was not really uncomfy(is not something serious).And it bothered me 2 times, but idk if it was intentional or not.I was never in a relationship..We started talking 4 months ago and he told me we can be togheter and get to know eachother over time..I accepted..But now idk if it was a good decision..I mean..when he was actling like that before I was fine with it..now I am not really.When he kisses me I feel weird..maybe even grossed out.I dont understand myself..but the idea is that I told hom before that he can be more affectionate with me.And now I am honestly a bit scared of how he will react if I break up with him.I feel anxious.And when we got togheter I felt like that and I told a friend and she told me is normal because is my first time..What do you think? (Plus...I also like women and idk if I am bi or a lesbian)

LiaExe28

Date posted: 6w

Odd question regarding sex

So my bf and I did the do tonight (it’s been a while I couldn’t keep my hands off him) but for some reason when we went to actually have sex I was not super wet like I used to be/it hurt when there was penetration. But I wanted it so bad. Like I know I do. I think maybe I’m in my head worrying it’ll hurt so it ends up hurting lol. Idk how to let my body relax it’s been kinda wonky since OCD started and also I’m on birth control (nexplanon, since last October, idk if that changes much tbh.) How do I let myself relax?? We use lube usually but didn’t today cuz it was a quickie Also how do I know if I’m actually enjoying sex with my partner and not just tolerating it? I feel like I’m thinking that instead of actually being there having sex with him. It’s kinda the crux of my ROCD and soocd “if you don’t enjoy it/don’t feel butterflies, you’re gay and don’t love him” sums it up. But it feels great, I feel good. I feel loved and save and turned on when I’m with him and afterwards (when he’s not rushing to leave like today lol) we stay and cuddle and I just feel.. good. Not cuz I did smthn for him but cuz it felt good for me cuz I am with someone who genuinely loves me and cares if I enjoy things yknow? I do love doing things for him but he also makes sure I get my fun too lol. I want to touch him. I want to initiate. Very clearly. Not gay. I’m worried my lack of butterflies during sex means smthn idk why. Help🥲✌️

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Advice please

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community